Over the past week, I have laid awake every night thinking about the past year. So many different emotions come to mind; happiness, sadness, fear, anger, love, hate, and some emotions that I don't even have words for. This past year, 2017, has been the hardest of my twenty years. But, it has been one of the best of my twenty years.

How is this possible? How could it have been your hardest year, while being your favorite? Well, even though there were countless moments of heartbreak and difficulties, I don't think I've ever been happier, laughed more, or been more content in my own skin than I have in 2017.

I wouldn't have been able to consider this year the best year if I didn't have my moments of weakness and defeat. What makes this year most difficult was getting up from my hands and knees, and finding reasons to keep on going. I found my strength in 2017, and it wouldn't have happened without being broken in the first place.

In 2017, I got my heart broken.

In 2017, I fell out of love with my passion.

In 2017, I lost a countless amount of friends.

In 2017, I pushed people away.

In 2017, I lost myself.

But, eventually, I found my heart, passion, friends, and myself again.

In 2017, I made the decision to put my mental health first. Hardest, but smartest, decisions I have ever had to make.

In 2017, I fell in love with my future career.

In 2017, I challenged myself to be different.

In 2017, I realized that family will always be there for you.

In 2017, I made some amazing friends that I now consider family.

In 2017, I gained a few guardian angels.

In 2017, I decided to transfer schools to follow my dream career path.

In 2017, I learned that it's OKAY to be alone. Loneliness doesn't have to be bad.

In 2017, I decided to forgive those who have hurt me, especially myself.

In 2017, I apologized for all the wrongs I have done, but I also accepted them myself.

In 2017, I gave thanks for every opportunity and memory made within the year.

In 2017, I grew up. I matured. I learned.

2017 has taught me so many things, and I could keep this list going on forever. It has been a year I will never forget.

In 2018, I will learn from 2017 and keep moving forward.

Sending lots of happiness, love, and laughter in 2018 to you all. Even if it may seem like it won't get better, I promise it will. There's always some positive in the negative, remember that.