At the age of seventeen I started dating a boy who left for the military three months later. At such a young age, I still had so much to learn about life and didn't know how many life lessons this relationship would teach me. I knew that being in a military relationship was going to be hard and I knew that we were going to face trials, but I didn't know how much it would shape who I am today. The lessons I learned from being in a military relationship are something I hold close to me and they still help me through my everyday life to this day.
Independence
One of the biggest lessons I learned while being in a military relationship was how to be independent. Not being able to see your boyfriend anywhere from a month to eight months at a time teaches you how to do things on your own. My friends were able to go on cute dates with their boyfriends while I had to wait months to go on one with mine. Shout out to the friends that let me be the third wheel! It was hard to be without him but I still had to live my life while he was gone.
Strength
Being in a military relationship taught me just how strong I really am. It is one of the hardest things I've ever gone through but it made me stronger than I ever knew I could be. It is not easy to have to be away from your significant other for months at a time. You worry about them constantly and never know when you will hear from them next while they are on deployment. Not only do you have to be strong for yourself but you have to be strong for them as well. You don't want them to have to worry about you while they are away so you constantly put on a brave face. Even if they are not deployed, if you are long distance like we were you still have to go months without seeing each other, and that's never easy.
Connection
In a military relationship, you learn that connection is more about the emotional connection than it is the physical connection. There is something to be said about the emotional connection you make with someone while only being able to write letters for three months. Not being able to see each other for long periods of time makes you connect on a deeper level. It has taught me to value the types of connections I make with the people in my life.
Communication
In our generation we take being able to communicate with people immediately for granted. We are so used to being able to talk to our friends and family instantly through our smart phones or social media. Not being able to communicate with your boyfriend immediately makes it that much more special when you are able to talk. Whether it is through letters for three months during bootcamp or a ten-minute Skype call during deployment, anything is better than nothing. You learn to value the moments you get to spend communicating. I am much more appreciative of instant communication because of it.
It's not a fairytale
Military relationships are not a fairytale. For some reason people had this idea that just because I was in a military relationship, it was a big romantic fairytale. While, yes, we had a great relationship for the most part, it is not like you see in movies. It is real life, not actors on TV playing characters. It is harder than they make it seem. A military relationship may have it's romantic moments, but it is not romantic not being able to see your significant other for months at a time.
Sacrifice
You sacrifice a lot being in a military relationship. You give up your time with them because you know how important their job is. You spend the majority of the time apart for just a little bit of time together. You give up holidays, anniversaries and birthdays together. You learn that the biggest sacrifices are worth it for the people that you care about.
Patience
You learn to be very patient when dealing with the military. You wait patiently by the mailbox everyday during bootcamp. During deployment you wait weeks at a time to hear from your significant other and wait months for them to come home. Dates for homecomings and leave will change more times than it stays the same. It tests your patience at a whole new level, but it makes you realize that some of the best things in life are worth waiting for.
This time of my life taught me so much about myself, relationships and life. My relationship did not work out, but that doesn't mean yours can't. If you are in a military relationship now, I want you to know, yes, they are hard, but they are not impossible. I spent three and half years with someone in the military and I wouldn't change the ups and downs, hardships or life lessons that relationship taught me for anything. It is a time in my life that I will forever cherish.
