For some of us, maybe we’re floating along just fine on our own (goals). For others, maybe we’re content in a healthy relationship. For some, maybe there’s still a heartbreak to work though. At this point in our lives, there’s probably a name that comes to mind when you hear the words "first love." Even if we find that these people weren’t the perfect match that we were seeking, I believe the impression they leave on us can last a lifetime (good and bad). So hey, let’s make the most of the lessons we’ve experienced up until now.
Like anything else in life, there’s good and bad in all relationships and experiences. You just have to hope that the good outweighs the bad. No matter how things ended between you and the first person you actually fell for, they’ve probably shaped you for the better (fingers crossed). I believe the only way to grow as an individual is to be forced to do so. As twisted as it sounds, going through a heartbreak is the best way to accomplish this. How are you supposed to know that you’re strong enough on your own if you’re never forced to be on your own? The biggest epiphany will come to you when you wake up one morning and realize you aren’t sad about a breakup anymore. You’re fine on your own– and maybe you even prefer it. Let me tell you guys, it’s a nice feeling knowing you don’t have to share the aux with anyone. Ya know?
Your first love also teaches you how to stand up for yourself and when to walk away. So many of us are terrified of ‘rocking the boat’ when we’re dating someone because the fear of being left is greater than the frustration we’re experiencing. If there’s one thing that my first serious relationship taught me, it’s to fully know and understand that people can’t change. The inability to change for the happiness of your significant other doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human. At the same time, it doesn’t mean anyone should have to stick around when they know that there are too many differences to work through. If you do finally walk away, you walk away with the lessons learned throughout the relationship – good and bad. This makes picking the next person that much easier. You already know what you consider a ‘red flag’ to be and after already going through the emotional trauma of a heartbreak, I guarantee you will be much more picky about who you spend your time with.
Your first love will teach you a lot if you let them, but try not to let yourself get too jaded. I’ve pushed a lot of great people away just because I was so determined to be independent and happy on my own. Now I wake up every morning feeling like Kourtney K. wondering why I have so many walls up. Maybe this is just another part of the take away, though. Eventually you HAVE to learn how to let yourself fall for people again. I believe this is a learning process…a very long learning process. These things happen subconsciously, too. I didn’t even notice that I was pushing good guys away until I realized I read receipted half of them for no reason.The goal is to reach a happy medium. Take the lessons, but don't let one relationship change your overall outlook on dating. Your first serious relationship will teach you a lot. To be honest, I’m not really sure if you ever stop learning from them.
