I am spending this summer hiking the Pacific Crest Trail (PCT), a national scenic trail that runs 2,665 miles from Mexico to Canada. This is a huge task that takes a lot of time, energy, and effort, but also gives a lot back. I am learning a lot on this journey that can be applied to life as a whole. This is the first installment in the series: Lessons from the Trail.
Opening Up to Others:
I am a very emotionally private person. You can ask me about my career goals, my body mods, my sex life, or most anything else like that and I will be more than happy to discuss them, but if you aren't one of my three closest confidants and you ask me about who or what has hurt me in the past, what my deepest dreams are, or how I feel about my ex-boyfriend, I'll probably close up like a clam protecting a pearl. I've always been willing to be physically intimate (meaning platonic hugs, cuddling, etc, not just sexuality intimacy) long before I am willing to become emotionally intimate. It's a defense mechanism that I have clung onto for years. If you don't let anyone in, they can't hurt you. The trail is slowly teaching me that it's ok to let other people, sometimes even complete strangers, in.
Now, this isn't to say that I am repeating my life story to every person I meet. There are certainly people who I would never let in to hear my inner thoughts or desires. But sometimes it feels right. On the trail, you meet people in a very organic, raw manner. You are exhausted from hours on hours on days of strenuous physical activity and in most cases don't have the energy to put up the walls that you otherwise might in "civilized" society. Opportunities to open up are abundant and little by little, I have been taking them. It is absolutely amazing to me to see what you can learn by doing this. You can meet people who have been through similar traumas and find in them a kindred spirit. You can find healing or insight that you otherwise might never have received. It can be amazingly therapeutic to let it out and talk about your most painful moments to someone completely detached from the situation. The amount of empathy that I have found in other hikers on the trail is humbling and I cannot express how grateful I am for them.
While I recognize that the general population is not nearly as open and "free love" as the hiker community is, this lesson can still be applied to the "real world". Perhaps now I will be more willing to let people in back home. In doing so, I may be able to form stronger, more loving relationships, and a more solid support network. Yes, the risk of getting hurt is there, but I understand better now that that doesn't have to be the outcome. I additionally understand now how to become vulnerable with others without leaving myself completely defenseless. And this is my first Lesson From the Trail.
