I did something crazy at 17, I moved to a country that I had never been to. It was a crazy and eye-opening experience. Here are some lessons that I took away from being on my own for the first time.
1. It pushed me outside of my comfort zone.
To say my comfort zone was breached would be an understatement. I would consider myself to be a pretty safe person. I'm a thinker, it takes me forever to make a decision, and even then I go through all of the possible bad outcomes. I'm not a risk-taker.
However, moving away was just the push I needed. Sometimes that push can put you where you are supposed to be. It taught me that not every push will result in a downright fall, and even if it does you can still get back up.
2. It's okay to have a breakdown.
I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I cried in PUBLIC in the Topshop on Oxford Street. One of the busiest Topshop. They weren't little sniffles, it was full on sobbing. Think Kim Kardashian tears. Yes, it was that bad.
Sometimes you just need a good cry. It feels good to let things out. After a few good crying sessions (also in H&M), I felt like a burden was lifted off of my chest. Sometimes you just need to have a good cry.
3. I learned how to cherish the things I once had.
The statement "You never know what you have until it's gone" is so true. I don't think I ever realized the different blessings I had. I realized that I took a lot of things for granted when I was back home. I didn't appreciate or recognize the different contribution people had on my life. Taking a step back and looking at the people and things you don't have made things very apparent.
4. It's okay to be alone.
There were times when I just had to go out on my own. I couldn't wait for people to get on board. I remember there would be times where I would just pop to a food market, or just wander around a museum by myself. I probably looked like a crazy person but it gave me time to take a breath. I was able to do what I wanted to do, go where I wanted to go. Being alone doesn't mean that you are lonely. It means that sometimes you need space.
5. Relying on other people isn't a bad thing.
For as long as I can remember I have been pretty independent. I don't know what it is but I have a problem with letting people do things for me or even help me. However, one of the main things that I learned while I was over there was that it's OKAY for people to help you and to want to help.
I don't know how I would have survived if people didn't "take me in". Having a support system that was less than an hour tube ride away made up for being thousands of miles away from my family.
They taught me that not everything comes from a malicious intent. Not everyone expects something back. People do care and they want to help. (Sidenote: Don't let your guard down all the time, just at the right times.)
6. I figured out what friendship is and what it isn't.
It's easy to be fooled by people who are "friends". Your "friends" can surprise you and strangers can show up during the toughest times. For me, friendship was defined while I was away. I noticed my worth, and what I deserved, especially in a friendship.
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder but in some cases, distance reveals things you couldn't see before. I lost friendships and I gained some that I will never lose.
7. I learned to let go.
I've realized the key to growth isn't holding on, it's letting go. I desperately wanted to hold on to things. However, I soon realized that there are times that you have to let go. You have to realize that you don't always have control over everything. Sometimes you have to release the old to gain the new, whether it be people or experiences.
8. Just because you fit in doesn't mean you belong.
Going to a big city alone, you tend to latch on to people who make you feel welcome. You can be surrounded by many people but still feel so alone. There may be smiles all around but are they coming from a good place? It's so easy to get lost in feeling included, that you could lose yourself. Just because it feels right or comfortable it doesn't mean that is where you are supposed to be.
9. Who I want to be.
It might have been more like a step in the direction of figuring out who I want to be. I still don't know everything. However, I know a few things. I know what I value, what I deserve, and the type of people I want to be around. I know that change and disappointment will happen, it's inevitable. Instead of complaining, you make the most out every opportunity that falls into life, because you never know when it will no longer be there.
