The opening scene of Lady Bird tells us a lot about how the rest of the movie will go without making fully clear what the intentions are. We open to Christine “Lady Bird” McPherson and her mother, Marion McPherson, listening to the Grapes of Wrath. They are both emotional about the experience and getting to share that with one another.

Once the book finalizes, Lady Bird takes out the cassette case, puts the audiobook away and proceeds to reach for the radio. At this, her mother tells her that she would rather sit in the moment, after this comment a fight ensues. Daughter and mother at odds over the amount of control the other is allotting. This frustration builds to Lady Bird jumping out of the moving car as if to say if I don’t get what I want then I will run away.

This is the whole thesis of the film, control and how one reacts to it. This thesis is not like other Oscar-worthy movies because it is one that is pervasive in everyone’s life. You must let go and understand that you will not always have control over others.

There is a modicum of desiring control in most everyone, but that desire manifests in ways that look different. Lady Bird tried to gain control by distancing herself from where she came from. She changes her appearance, she manipulates relationships and she wants to run away from her hometown of Sacramento.

Her mother tries to gain control of her surroundings. She tells her daughter to act and dress a certain way, she uses her husband to manipulate the family emotions and she maintains unease with her daughter.

Last, her father Larry McPherson quietly controls what he knows can be controlled. He helps his daughter apply for far away colleges and helps his son get a job that he is also interviewing for, knowing full well that ultimately he is not in control of what happens in the hiring process.

So what kind of control do you try to have in your life? Controlling your image to better fit with the people you want to like you, controlling your surroundings and ultimately the people in your life? Or do you know that there is not much to control so you just go along with everyone else trying to grasp for it?

In this movie, and in life, Lady Bird’s father was the one who knew that life throws you things that are out of your hands. These things that are out of your control just need to be let go. You cannot force things, or people to go the way you desire. Instead, allow the people around you to make mistakes, to be uncomfortable, because that is the way to best love.