As 2016 comes to a close and the new year is right around the corner, I sit back and reflect on things that happened and situations that took place and I realize, it was not a good year for me, circumstantially. This year I went through some of the hardest things I have ever had to deal with and at some points I really didn't think I would come out of it, but now as I am sitting here, at the close of this year I realize just how thankful I am for it all. Yeah, going through it was hard and uncomfortable, but coming out the other side has changed me completely and made me into a whole different person, who I'm proud of.

My struggles this year have taught me a multitude of lessons and have completely changed the way I think and live my life everyday.

This year taught me..

Be brave and go after what makes me happy.

I was faced with a lot of uncomfortable situations that I wanted to change or that left me feeling immobilized, but I realized that I had complete control over every one of them. I was able to change my circumstance and chose not to at the time, but not anymore. I decided that I was tired of looking around and being unhappy with my life. Instead, I was going to get up, chase my dream, and live a life that made me proud.

To let go of what cannot be changed.

I lost a lot of people in my life this year that I thought were going to be around until I was old and grey and at first, it sucked and I felt trapped in the emotions of "losing" someone, but now I look at it as a blessing and I have never been happier. Once you begin to look at things for how they are in fact rather than how you want them to be, you realize that the people you put so much effort and love into, really didn't care about you all that much, so losing them only took away unneeded baggage and made room for amazing people to come into my life. I am no longer weighed down by bad friendships.

It's a bad time, not a bad life.

Struggling with depression makes it very hard to see the world around you for what it is and it makes everything around you seem a little bit darker. During my episodes when depression would take over my life, I always seemed to think that nothing would ever get better and that I would have no more happy days; that couldn't have been farther from the truth. I realized that depression will always affect me, but how I let it affect me is my choosing. I refuse to let it lock me to my bed for days, or to flake out on people who want to see me, and most importantly keep me from pursuing my dreams. Instead, I'll listen to music, write, exercise, mess with essential oils or drink tea. This disease will not prevent me from moving forward and being happy in life.

Don't make decisions in your life to please other people.

I have a bad habit of putting people before myself, even if it means I'm left sad and broken. I realized I can't do that anymore. Although I will always care for others, I have to make decisions to better my life and to make myself happy before anything. Looking around and not being happy in your situation is not a good feeling and I want to spend my days being proud of the life I live.

The opinions of people who don't truly know you, are worth nothing.

I'll admit it, I use to be one to take the things that people say to heart and in the past I always longed for acceptance from others but now, I could care less about any of it. The reality is that the people who spoke badly of me and those who I longed to receive acceptance from didn't know me, at all. I came to the realization that the people in my life who truly know me, don't feel this way about me, so I know that the people saying these things are just doing it to be nasty and they have yet to find peace within themselves. So, I brush it off, pray for them and continue to move forward in my life with the people who know and love me, truly.

I am worth something.

The most empowering and the most important lesson I was taught in 2016 was that I'm here for a reason and that I am worth something. I deserve a happy life and a comfortable living. I deserved to love myself and to be happy. And I deserved to surround myself with people that treated me genuinely and loved me immensely. Fighting a disease that constantly makes you feel worthless and whispers in your ear to give up everyday is not easy and for a long time, I thought it would win. I had to fight, and I did, and its brought me to this realization; people would miss me if I was gone, my life would get better and I would be successful, I deserved to live a long, prosperous life, and that giving up was not in the cards for me, I have so much more life to live.

Talking about these things is not easy and coming to accept that you were not always okay is challenging but by grabbing on to that little glimpse of hope and running with it I have now found peace, a new change of mind and I am on the road to a happy life, free of the chains that worked so hard to weigh me down.

I'm ready for you 2017.