Friendship is one of the most important things a person can have in life. Friends are the people that you choose to have in your life and the ones who you are supposed to be able to lean on and count on when you most need them. So what do you do when someone you considered a friend stops being someone who you trust, and starts being a stranger? It is one of the hardest things to come to terms with and can be one of the most painful losses to encounter. When someone that you love and trust begins to become distant and seems to be losing interest in your friendship, it can be painful. I’ve been here way too many times and I have learned some very important lessons.
Some friends are temporary. Not everyone you meet is going to be in your life forever. As human beings, we have needs, needs that only other human beings can fulfill. It doesn’t sound great but it is human nature to use people, and that isn’t always a bad thing. We use others for what we need and once we satisfy that need there isn’t always a reason to sustain that friendship. You were only meant to be friends for a small window of time.
Some friendships are toxic. This is the hardest lesson I have had to learn. You feel as though you are not worth anything and that there is no point in trying to express your feelings because all the other person will do is act like your feelings don’t matter or the situation isn’t a big deal. You end up feeling like you’re making a bigger deal out it than it is; when, in reality, your feelings are very valid and you have a right to the way you feel and a right to express those feelings.
You have to speak up. This is the MOST important lesson. When something is bothering you, say something. When you keep your feelings to yourself, you are only making the situation worse for the both of you. Your friend is not going to know how something is making you feel if you don’t tell them. By not saying anything, you are telling that person that it is okay to treat you like you don’t matter. If you don’t like it, say it.
Cherish the good friends that you do have. You have friends that actually care about you and your feelings and if you don’t then you need to find some. It’s so important to have people in your corner to love and support you. They are the ones that will be there to help you through the times that you feel like you aren’t worthy of someone’s time and energy.
Lots of people are going to walk in and out of your life and it is up to you to decide who you want to spend your time with and how you want them to treat you.
