I chew at my lips, I pick at my fingernails, I feel my chest constrict and quake as my breathing becomes more difficult to regulate. I have anxiety, and it's not severe, but it's there and it isn't going away and it can be debilitating. It is random. I may be having the happiest thoughts about my favorite sunflowers or my boyfriend, but in a moment I can be crippled by an emotional weight that no one can see.

A weight that feels as visible as darkening veins running through my body, making me look like an oddity and as though I am disfigured. Yet even though I feel like I stick out, no one can see what I'm feeling. I want to share my experience with what has helped calm me and lessen my anxiety when it feels like it's too much to handle:

1. Be honest with yourself.

The moment I allow myself to admit that I am not okay really helps me to ground myself and not fight what I am feeling. A lot of times it feels like the crushing pressure on my chest is slightly lifting and cracking when I tell myself it's okay not to be okay. I remind myself there is immense strength in realizing and admitting when there is too much for you to handle. It is not giving up, it is understanding your own limits. Each day is a new day and fresh start for new tasks to attempt.

*Going along with that, if your anxiety is frequent or constant, and it is keeping you from yourself it's okay if these steps aren't enough. Speaking with a professional you deeply trust could put you on the right path to getting more effective help you need to get to a place where you feel like your anxiety is a monster you can actually handle.*

2. Rest

Find a place to sit if you're out, or be separate from larger crowds. Focus on the grass on the ground or the fluffy white poofs in the sky and practice your breathing. Slowly in, hold, slowly release. If I have the patience, breathing really helps ground me. Sipping some water (only sipping, nausea is common with anxiety) really helps, too.

3. Essential oils!

I'm a firm believer and lover of the benefits of nature, and after learning about the benefits of certain oils at my job I decided to try them out for myself. I have fallen in love with peppermint first. Not only is it great for nausea and headaches, it helps clear my mind and calms me.

I also carry all natural peppermints around with me (Starbucks has yummy ones or regular Altoids!) to combat the nervous stomach that seems to hit me at any random time. Lavender is the number one essential oil for relaxation that I have found. While I do prefer peppermint because of it's other benefits, lavender wards off mosquitos is an antiseptic and is known for being great for its calming qualities (among many other things).

I keep an all natural lotion stick of lavender with me at all times, for when I used to get hand eczema because of my anxiety. Eucalyptus is another favorite, it works best for congestion and colds, (it really clears your nose after a sniff) but I use it to ease the pressure in my chest when I'm feeling anxious.

4. Tea!

Having a cup of warm tea isn't just good for your digestion, depending on the type, it does wonders for relaxation. I stick to fruity herbals normally because caffeine spikes my anxiety to levels I have a hard time coming down from. Lately, I've been loving on a light Pearled Jasmine. While it does have a tiny bit of caffeine, it has been helping to regulate my digestion and reproductive system (I recently found out I have endometriosis and need all the help I can get in that department!).

Black teas tend to be more bitter and have a higher caffeine content, so if you're looking to calm down I'd stay away. That means coffee, too! I experimented on a recent overnight trip and nearly immediately after having a few sips of an iced latte I had to tell my boyfriend I wasn't feeling well.

5. Find your own creative outlet.

While I love to pick up a pen and write, preferably my grandfather's Parker fountain pen that's no doubt older than I am, you need a way to freely express yourself. Just like being honest with yourself, no feeling you experience is stupid or weak. I always have to fight myself on the fact that I feel weak for thoughts I have or getting anxious often, but a good amount the time there's a reason you're hurting and it's okay to not be okay.

You will never grow stronger by pushing your pain deeper into yourself, instead your chest will only get tighter. I still really struggle with this one. Write letters to yourself, paint to your heart's content. Be brutally honest with yourself, even if you burn what you write or scrap what you create. Allow yourself the privilege and healing of honesty.

6. Care for yourself.

Take a bubble bath, get your hair done, clean up your room. Listen to the terrible cliche: enjoy the little things. The cute tea spoon that stirs in just the right amount of honey, that fresh out of the dryer warmth that makes you feel alive and comfy. The little things will make you whole. Find ways to value yourself. Even if all you can get to that day is taking a really nice, long shower: do it. This is your body, your temple, your self. You decide what you become and what you surround yourself with, so try to allow yourself happiness. We all deserve some happiness.

This is in no way a full list, but it's a good start and I'm doing my best to follow it every day. Anxiety can be terrifying and daunting, especially when you feel alone in a sea of normal. We are not oddities, we are not alone. Something that brightens my outlook is that because of my experiences, I can help others who come to me. As a future educator, I feel even more prepared to recognize children who need more help - like I did.