How To Help Someone Who's Struggling In A Toxic Relationship

Telling Someone To 'Just Leave' A Toxic Relationship Isn't As Easy As It Sounds

Actually put yourself in that person's shoes for five minutes.

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Getting into a relationship sounds like a super fun thing. You have an automatic cuddle buddy, a best friend, a personal chauffeur, someone who regularly says "I love you," and someone to bury in kisses all day. Having a relationship is a great thing because it feels like you can be yourself around someone and also express your love for them.

But not everything is going to be a magical fairytale, and you're definitely not going to feel like you're on cloud 9 every day. It's clear that you and your partner are going to have ups and downs. That's a part of being in a relationship.

But what shouldn't be part of a relationship is you or your partner constantly feeling drained.

By this, I mean that you feel as if you can't do anything right by your partner. You have a hard time feeling the same sparks from when you guys first met. You also feel that your partner belittles you and makes you feel less than special. At times, you are afraid of what he/she might do.

At first, you try to push these red flags away because you love them so much. You still feel as if the spark will come back. But the more you wait, the less likely there will be a spark. You will feel like a completely different person.

Read more: 23 Warning Signs You Might Be In A Toxic Relationship

Your friends will tell you to leave him but it's not that easy.

It's like, you understand where they're coming from, but they just don't understand. But it's still killing you.

And to the friends saying to "just leave:"

It's so easy to just tell someone to leave that toxic person. It may seem frustrating to watch your friend suffer, then take that person back. It also may seem annoying and emotionally draining for you as well.

Your friend understands where you are coming from, but they feel a sense of guilt if they leave that person. They also feel as if they can't survive without that person.

You have to stop and think for a moment about what it would be like to wear their shoes for a while. Try to be that supportive friend or family member to show them that there's more to everything than that toxic person. It's so easy to tell someone to leave from the outside, but on the inside, there's so many "what if's" in your head.

Going through a toxic relationship in the past taught me how to handle my future relationships differently.

In the past, I was in a relationship that I didn't consider "toxic." I always thought to myself, "I would never stay in a relationship where I was treated like crap. That's so dumb." I would always look at other people and wonder why they wouldn't just leave. If I heard stories of people taking their significant others back, I would just shake my head and say:

"That would NEVER be me."

I was with someone who was always so selfish and I felt as if I had to bend over backwards for him. Everything I did was just wrong. We had our fights like normal couples, but I was always sad when I left his place.

This relationship was also expensive because I was always the one with the money. He was always "broke." Soon, I was being taken advantage of. I always had to make excuses for him to my friends, and it was embarrassing.

But I still wanted to be with that person. I did see the red flags, but I ignored them because I thought I was happy with him.

I was disrespected constantly and insulted to the point where I made changes in my life to appeal to that person. I worked out excessively, stopped eating my favorite foods, and even cut some people off that he didn't like because I thought having someone like him would make my life better.

There are so many more things I experienced in the relationship, but I'm not ready to open up about those things yet. What I actually experienced was way worse, but I am just telling a little for those who need to understand. I don't want to get too specific about my life, but it's really big of me to tell everyone just a snippet of what I was going through.

Eventually, I found the strength to leave and started working on myself. I eventually met someone who I am NOT in a relationship with, but I am taking it slow. Right now, I think it's best to be surrounded by friends and family.

To those who would shake their heads about other people in relationships like me, think to yourself and try to understand what's going on inside. It is so easy to tell someone to leave, but actually doing so is hard.

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5 Musts For When You Stay At Your S.O.'s Dorm

Sleepovers are fun, must rules are a must.

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Spending the night with your significant other is one of the best parts about finally getting to college. You finally are given the freedom to sleep in the same bed all night and wake up in the morning to little kisses. Staying over at your significant other's place does come with many challenges of its own though. The slept in makeup, the lack of clothes for the next day, roommates, and overstayed welcomes all are realities of sleeping over at your significant others dorm.

Spending the night in college can be a difficult road to navigate and it's even more difficult when there are multiple roommates involved. No matter how many times you have likely spent the night with your significant other, you're sure to face some challenges of proper sleepover etiquette. These are a few of the rules of college sleepovers that should probably be followed in order to keep your significant other happy, roommates happy, and to get the most out of your sleepovers.

1. Their space is their space, as well as their roommates' 

Just like you wouldn't go to someone's house and take all of their stuff, you probably shouldn't do this in your significant other's dorm. Taking all of their food, or their roommates' food is not cool. Respect their space just like you would want them to respect yours.

2. Pack smart 

Spending the night with your significant other means loading up your contacts, solution, medication, clothes, pajamas, and the list goes on. Only pack the things that you'll actually need or else you'll be carrying around half of your room all day. And don't forget you can always borrow a comfy t-shirt from your significant other.

3. You still can say "no" if you don't want to do something 

Just because it is their room, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. Know your own boundaries and be respectful of yourself, your significant other should always understand that.

4. Respect their roommates 

No, you cannot stay over at your significant other's dorm if their roommate says no. It is their room too and it's important to respect how they feel. Your best bet is to be kind and friendly to their roommate, and they'll probably let you stay over more often.

5. Know that you probably won't look like Beyoncé when you wake up 

No one wakes up with perfect hair and the full face of makeup. You should know that and know that your significant other will still love you when you wake up with your hair a mess and bad breath.

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