How To Help Someone Who's Struggling In A Toxic Relationship

Telling Someone To 'Just Leave' A Toxic Relationship Isn't As Easy As It Sounds

Actually put yourself in that person's shoes for five minutes.


Getting into a relationship sounds like a super fun thing. You have an automatic cuddle buddy, a best friend, a personal chauffeur, someone who regularly says "I love you," and someone to bury in kisses all day. Having a relationship is a great thing because it feels like you can be yourself around someone and also express your love for them.

But not everything is going to be a magical fairytale, and you're definitely not going to feel like you're on cloud 9 every day. It's clear that you and your partner are going to have ups and downs. That's a part of being in a relationship.

But what shouldn't be part of a relationship is you or your partner constantly feeling drained.

By this, I mean that you feel as if you can't do anything right by your partner. You have a hard time feeling the same sparks from when you guys first met. You also feel that your partner belittles you and makes you feel less than special. At times, you are afraid of what he/she might do.

At first, you try to push these red flags away because you love them so much. You still feel as if the spark will come back. But the more you wait, the less likely there will be a spark. You will feel like a completely different person.

Read more: 23 Warning Signs You Might Be In A Toxic Relationship

Your friends will tell you to leave him but it's not that easy.

It's like, you understand where they're coming from, but they just don't understand. But it's still killing you.

And to the friends saying to "just leave:"

It's so easy to just tell someone to leave that toxic person. It may seem frustrating to watch your friend suffer, then take that person back. It also may seem annoying and emotionally draining for you as well.

Your friend understands where you are coming from, but they feel a sense of guilt if they leave that person. They also feel as if they can't survive without that person.

You have to stop and think for a moment about what it would be like to wear their shoes for a while. Try to be that supportive friend or family member to show them that there's more to everything than that toxic person. It's so easy to tell someone to leave from the outside, but on the inside, there's so many "what if's" in your head.

Going through a toxic relationship in the past taught me how to handle my future relationships differently.

In the past, I was in a relationship that I didn't consider "toxic." I always thought to myself, "I would never stay in a relationship where I was treated like crap. That's so dumb." I would always look at other people and wonder why they wouldn't just leave. If I heard stories of people taking their significant others back, I would just shake my head and say:

"That would NEVER be me."

I was with someone who was always so selfish and I felt as if I had to bend over backwards for him. Everything I did was just wrong. We had our fights like normal couples, but I was always sad when I left his place.

This relationship was also expensive because I was always the one with the money. He was always "broke." Soon, I was being taken advantage of. I always had to make excuses for him to my friends, and it was embarrassing.

But I still wanted to be with that person. I did see the red flags, but I ignored them because I thought I was happy with him.

I was disrespected constantly and insulted to the point where I made changes in my life to appeal to that person. I worked out excessively, stopped eating my favorite foods, and even cut some people off that he didn't like because I thought having someone like him would make my life better.

There are so many more things I experienced in the relationship, but I'm not ready to open up about those things yet. What I actually experienced was way worse, but I am just telling a little for those who need to understand. I don't want to get too specific about my life, but it's really big of me to tell everyone just a snippet of what I was going through.

Eventually, I found the strength to leave and started working on myself. I eventually met someone who I am NOT in a relationship with, but I am taking it slow. Right now, I think it's best to be surrounded by friends and family.

To those who would shake their heads about other people in relationships like me, think to yourself and try to understand what's going on inside. It is so easy to tell someone to leave, but actually doing so is hard.

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7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.


It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.


I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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