Okay, this is to all the people pleasers out there. It's okay, natural even, to want to please everyone or at least the important people in our lives, but we have to stop. If you're wondering why I'm saying this, well, keep reading.
First The Basics
If you clicked on this article you're either a. a people pleaser and you want to change, b. think you might be a people pleaser, but you aren't quite sure, or c. you were just bored and wanted to read about people pleasers/pleasing. Well, whatever it may be, I'm going to tell you what people pleasing is...it's exactly how this GIF says it is. If you are a people pleaser, then yes, you are also an emotional pretzel. And let me be the one to give you this big ass "hard to swallow" pill, at the end of the day, no one likes an emotional pretzel. Now, let's see if we can't untangle you.
1. That uncontrollable need to please people isn't healthy
GiphyYou know what I mean by this if you're a true people pleaser. No matter what it is that you do, you're ALWAYS trying to please someone or get their approval and that needs to stop. I understand the need to please people and to make them proud of you and what you're doing or trying to accomplish, but here's an idea...try pleasing yourself and forget about the other people. I know it's easier said than done, trust me. You're always going to want that approval, but you'll be a lot happier if you just focus on pleasing yourself and do what makes you happy rather than someone else.
2. Stop trying to please EVERYONE
So if you're a people pleaser chances are you want to please EVERYONE you come across, but that has to come to an end because it is NEVER going to happen, you will never please everyone that you meet because, lets face it, it's hard to please people and you don't owe them anything. So do yourself a favor and stop trying. If you continue to try then you're going to drive yourself crazy.
3. It's your life, not anyone else's
Seriously though, this is your life and you should live it for you and not for anyone else. I know, you want to please the people that you love and you want them to be proud of you, but if you're happy and you're doing what you want in life then they will be supportive and encouraging and if they aren't happy for you then well, I can't believe I'm about to say this, but take some advice from Kim Kardashian West here.
4. What do you want?
This kind of falls under the same category of listicle number 3, but it's a little bit different. Okay, so I've come to the realization that we as people pleasers want validation and if we do what people want then we get that, but are we doing what we want? What's the point of our life if we are living it for someone else? It's time to do what you want, so answer this beautiful man's question "What do you want?" and don't say "To please people"...
5. It's time to flip the switch
So by this point, you should know whether or not you're a people pleaser (which, let's face it - if you clicked on this article you probably are), know what you have been doing, and know what you need to stop doing. And chances are, if you clicked on this article then you want to change.
Flip that switch from "People-Pleaser" to "Me-Pleaser" because it's about time you start living your life for you, after all, it is your life. Like I said before, no matter how hard you try, you're never going to make everyone happy, it's inevitable. Also, the only person's happiness you can control is your own happiness. Quit putting your happiness in the hands of other's and take the reins. I promise your 2019 year will be better than any other year if you just do a few of these things.
