In high school, I was by no means popular. No one outright disliked me or said anything that resembled bullying or exclusion to my face, but I just didn't have much in common with the group of kids that were considered "cool". They liked going to sporting events and cheering on their friends; I didn't know anyone on the team or the rules of the games. They were able to do their hair and make up well and got big groups together to take pictures before dances; I could barely put my hair in a ponytail and was camera shy.
When I joined a sorority at my university, suddenly the type of girls that I had wanted to be, but failed to fit in with, were surrounding me constantly. Effortlessly pretty and stylish, somehow maintaining good GPA's while being involved all over campus and having a million and one friends. My first week was nerve-wracking because I overthought every word that came out of my mouth, certain that they would find me weird or too different from them to get along with.
As soon I met my roommate and best friend at school, I didn't worry that she would think I was lame at all. I knew she was definitely one of the popular girls in her school and I could tell that she was the type of person that I probably would have never crossed paths without our sorority. But the funny thing is, the more that I got to know her, the more I realized we DID have in common and discovered that even though we had different interests and hobbies in high school, we still liked the same shows and movies and could introduce each other to new ones too.
From that realization, it occurred to me that perhaps I had been misjudging those kids at my high school all along and I regretted not getting to know them better. I spent four years thinking that just because someone had better hair than I did or drove a nicer car that automatically meant that they didn't want to be my friend, never once stopping to consider that they might feel the same way about me.
The world is a divided place and it seems that with each passing day, we alienate ourselves from each other even more, but I urge you to take a hard look at the person sitting a few chairs over from you in class or the professor lecturing about the topic that you aren't interested in or the kid that you pass on campus every day in the same place, at the same time. I offer up a crazy idea to you: What if you said hello to them?
I know that sounds like a monumental feat, and as an introvert, I constantly find myself wanting to hide in the corners and cling to the walls. But the older I get, the more I see people as just that, just people, instead of some huge, scary force that can humiliate and intimidate me.
Obviously, I have sisters and friends and classmates that are prettier than me or hotter than me or cooler than me, but the truth is that nine times out of ten, people see our differences as interesting instead of disorienting. They see me as unique instead of wrong. If I could go back and tell high school aged me a lesson, I would force myself to talk to people I thought would ignore me because what if they could have been my best friend too?
