In addition to being very stubborn, I am a very prideful person. Most of the times these qualities serve me well. I have high standards for myself and my work, and I will deliver what I promise. Sometimes, however, it can be a serious burden and hold me back from what I really need.

I was supposed to run a marathon this month. I signed up months ago, and have put in solid hours practicing and telling everyone about. Now that the marathon rolled around, however, I realized I wasn’t where I thought I would be in my training, and I had to decide whether to try to finish it anyways, or whether it was time to pull out.

I have many excuses for not being prepared, mainly the bad wildfire smoke and the lack of places to run. I am not properly trained, and although I know I could finish it if I really wanted to, I wondered: at what cost? Is this something I really want and need to do? Or is this a situation I am okay walking away from?

The answer is yes- to both. I really want to do it, but it doesn’t have to be right now. It didn’t occur to me that I didn’t actually have to show up until my fiancé asked if I really, really wanted to do it. It would take up most of our weekend to drive up to Portland, stay overnight, and wait for me to spend a solid five hours finishing the race. It is inconvenient, it is hard, and I don’t really want to do it. Yet it was almost impossible for me to let it go.

A similar thing happened with my master’s degree. I started my master’s degree last fall in London, and just a few weeks in I could tell that I hated it. For a long time, I seriously contemplated leaving, and I talked to my friends and family about making the right decision. I ended up staying, despite still hating it, because I was too proud to walk away.

I had applied to the school, I had told everyone I was going, and I was physically there, ready to go. I didn’t want to quit because I felt like I was giving up. It was giving me bad situational anxiety, was a large financial strain, and made me nervous about almost everything in my life. It is only now that I have completed the degree and have removed myself from the situation that I realize that there wasn’t anything shameful about giving in. It was actually quite necessary.

Refusing to leave my master’s program has taught me much more about myself than I thought possible. There is something quite different to hear people telling you it is okay to give in than it is to actually believe it yourself. Sometimes you have to recognize what is best for you and walk away from situations that bring you down.

I wish I had understood this before I invested so much of myself to my master’s degree. So many things are just not worth our time, energy, and sanity, and it is completely okay to walk away. I am finally learning to let go, and it’s doing so much more for me than sticking with things ever did. You should try it too.