My last almost-relationship ended at the beginning of this summer. So when Drake said, "Summer just started and we're already done," you'd best believe I felt that. I wasn't even hurt, I was just mad. I was mad because I had spent the past year putting myself back together, and then I let myself start to have feelings for someone again.
When this short summer relationship ended, I realized that I had to start all over. I had to learn again how to be okay without having that one person to tell everything to, to go out and do fun things with and to feel wanted by.
I was on a search to find ways to be okay without having that "special someone," and I soon realized that self-love was a major factor. I needed to know that I was good enough. I needed to know that I mattered.
It's easy to find someone to temporarily make you feel enough and feel important, but most of the time those people just leave you feeling more empty. If you can find love within yourself, you will never be empty. Self-love doesn't happen overnight. It takes time and hard work, but it's so worth it.
In order to love myself, I started thinking more positively. I focused on the people in my life whom I love, instead of the people who were no longer in my life. I built up each strength when looking in the mirror, instead of tearing apart each flaw. I forgave myself for making mistakes, I let go of toxic people and I stopped relying so much on what other people thought of me.
I began to see with my own eyes, and feel deep in my own bones, how good enough I truly am.
In addition to thinking positively, I also worked on improving my quality of life. I worked out, I started writing, I began to reach out to new friends and I spent more time with my family.
By being so busy, I didn't have the time to sulk around feeling sorry for myself or waiting for someone to come into my life and sweep me off my feet. I realized that life gives us so many opportunities and we can't take advantage of them if we are stuck on someone or something in our past.
As my self-love developed, I could see how much the last heartbreak had helped me grow. I didn't find myself scared to try again when things ended. I found that I was ready to let myself fall and be vulnerable again.
I knew that just because a relationship didn't work out with one person, that didn't mean that something was wrong with me or that I was unwanted. My self-worth is not determined by people who aren't meant to stay in my life.
Learning how to love myself was the best decision I've ever made.
