Moving on after an abusive relationship can be incredibly difficult. Perhaps your significant other never actually hit you, but the scars are still there hidden beneath the surface. Your emotional recovery period may have been short, or maybe you are still struggling to move on. Perhaps it has been years since it ended but after all this time you still haven't been able to break the cycle of bad relationships. Whatever your situation, these reminders and this advice is for you.

One of the most important things to remember is that just because you don't have physical scars doesn't mean your pain is any less real. Some people may try to invalidate your experience by attempting to trivialize your emotions. "Well, he never actually hit you, right?" they may ask. But emotional abuse is no less mentally and emotionally damaging than physical abuse, so don't let people's words make you feel guilty about the length of your healing period. You take whatever time you need to get into a healthy mental and emotional place, whatever it takes.

But don't use that as an excuse to wallow in self pity. Healing slowly and dwelling in the past are two different things. Be wary of the latter. It can be temping to dwell on the darkness and nurse the hurt like a paper cut. But the more attention you pay to it the more it gets irritated, and then not only does the hurt become impossible to ignore, it also takes longer to heal. Resist the urge to harbor resentment and anger toward your ex, and do yourself a favor and let it go. You'll heal faster and stronger with no lingering issues to drag into your next relationship.

While you are cleaning house, sometimes it's not only your romantic relationship that needs to end. There may be toxic friends you need to sever ties with while you are cleansing your soul. Don't feel bad about cutting these people out of your life. In tough times you need friends who are going to have your back, not fake friends who support you to your face but betray you the instant you turn around. Move on from them and don't look back. I promise you will make new and better friends.

That being said, don't let your experience make you bitter and suspicious of new loves, romantic and platonic. Not everyone had an agenda or wants to hurt you, and there are good people in the world. If you look at everyone with distrust, you close your heart off to a potentially wonderful chapter of life. You have two choices; let go of the hurt and form your new relationships as if you've never been wronged, or become a bitter closed off person with an inability to love fully.

I chose the former and it was the best decision I ever made. Every hurt and betrayal I experienced had actually moved me one step closer to the man of my dreams, whom I never would have met had I not gone through what I did. There is a light at the end of the tunnel of hurt, I promise you. Don't be afraid to embrace it, and love again. It will be worth it, trust me.