When I woke up on November 21st, 2016, my family didn't know whether or not I would be able to walk, or really use any kind of motor skills ever again.
I remember at some point having to learn how to hold a drink and how to feed myself. After I had gotten through that process, I had been given a bottle of nail polish. My mom asked me if I wanted her to do it, but I told her no, that I would do it myself. So stemmed out my love of painting nails.
Day in and day out, I was in constant pain. I had significant muscle atrophy and awful neuropathy in my legs. For months, my legs felt like I was laying too close to a space heater. The doctors gave me painkiller after painkiller, but nothing helped. Eventually, I just admitted defeat and learned to deal with the constant pain.
I spent months working with physical therapy while at the hospital, and eventually, I was able to be moved to an inpatient rehab facility. There I spent weeks learning how to be independent in a wheelchair, using things like a transfer board and a grabber to help me. Finally, after spending seven months and twenty days in the hospital, I could go home.
Now I go to outpatient rehab, where I'm finally able to learn to walk again. I had a doctor once tell me that where you're at once you get to the one-year mark is usually where you stay, but I'm just getting started. I go to physical therapy twice a week, and occupational therapy once a week.
So far, in OT, I have figured out how to get dressed by myself. I can get my shoes on by myself, and tie them.
I can get a glass out of the cabinet or a drink out of the fridge. I can go shopping with ease. Now yes, these things sound trivial, but they are all things that I wasn't able to do for so long because I am in a wheelchair.
In PT, I have walked 11 feet with a harness. I have walked 18 feet with a harness. I have walked 25 feet with no harness.
I have walked 31 feet with no harness. I have walked 50 feet forward and 20 feet sideways, with no harness.
Yet, the most important thing that I have learned in PT/OT is that I can gain my confidence back. When I go out, I always feel like I need to be close to someone I know because strangers look at me and think, "Thar poor girl", I don't want people to look at me like that because I'm learning how to fix myself, and I'm gaining an opportunity that I know other people may not ever get.
Learning how to walk again is probably the hardest thing that I have ever done. It's testing not only my physical strength but my emotional strength as well. It's humbling my soul. It's teaching me that I need to fall before I can stand.
