How I Learned To Stop Being Afraid Of Being The Person Who Loves More | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

How I Learned To Stop Being Afraid Of Being The Person Who Loves More

You should love more.

36
How I Learned To Stop Being Afraid Of Being The Person Who Loves More
elitedaily.com

Throughout life, we stumble in and out of relationships until we find the actual "one." Finding love truly is a long journey and as we travel in and out of the relationships we stumble upon, we end up experiencing all different types of love.

There are the relationships where you are the person that "loves less" and everything is kind of just handed to you: the attention, the dinners, the emotional and physical connection. You don't really have to work for anything in these types of relationship.

I've been the person that "loved less" once in my life and I can honestly say it was probably one of the most unhealthily relationships I have ever been in and it screwed me over for the next few relationships I stumbled upon. I'll explain.

I never had to put any effort into the relationship. I never had to show affection or prove to him that I cared and because of that I developed a mindset that I never had to love anyone in order to be loved. I expected him to shower me with attention and change his plans in order to match my schedule every time. I thought I ruled the world and after six months he quit and the girl who "loved less" to protect herself ended up being really hurt.

The supposedly fool-proof way to prevent myself from being hurt left me so hurt and feeling like I could never learn to love.

The idea of being "vulnerable" is looked down upon by so many people. I use to be so scared of being the person who loves more because it is automatically assumed that being that person just sets you up to get hurt in the relationship. I've learned that this is not the case, and if anything being the person who loves more not only makes you a great significant other, but it makes you stronger for the next relationship you stumble upon, if that is where life takes you.

I was completely screwed over for the next few relationships I stumbled upon because I didn't know if I was loving too little or loving too much. I over thought everything, which let me tell you overthinking will screw you over so bad in the long run. Over thinking ruins everything. Seriously. It got to the point where nothing was working. Being the girl that loved less just made guys think that I was a selfish paranoid b*tch that only cared about herself and only wanted to protect herself.

Here's a little secret for you, regardless of what guys tell you, they are scared of being hurt too. Honestly they may be more scared of being hurt than girls are and that is why they always put up a front and never know how to be vulnerable. Girls can be bigger heartbreakers than we think.

Once I learned that I needed to stop being selfish and only worry about getting myself hurt and realized that being the person who loves less can actually backfire and hurt myself, I started to be the one who loved more.

I stopped being afraid of texting first and making plans first. I started doing nice things for the person I had a thing going with just because and I stopped being scared of being vulnerable. I became the most vulnerable person I could possibly be.

And yes in a few relationships I still ended up hurt, but it was OK; I survived. And when I stumbled upon the next relationship it started to become a lot easier and more natural to be a loving person.

Being the person that loved more made me feel good. It made me feel more loving even if the same energy wasn't being reciprocated back. Being vulnerable makes you so much stronger than you think and I love feeling that.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Entertainment

Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

These powerful lyrics remind us how much good is inside each of us and that sometimes we are too blinded by our imperfections to see the other side of the coin, to see all of that good.

473456
Every Girl Needs To Listen To 'She Used To Be Mine' By Sara Bareilles

The song was sent to me late in the middle of the night. I was still awake enough to plug in my headphones and listen to it immediately. I always did this when my best friend sent me songs, never wasting a moment. She had sent a message with this one too, telling me it reminded her so much of both of us and what we have each been through in the past couple of months.

Keep Reading...Show less
Zodiac wheel with signs and symbols surrounding a central sun against a starry sky.

What's your sign? It's one of the first questions some of us are asked when approached by someone in a bar, at a party or even when having lunch with some of our friends. Astrology, for centuries, has been one of the largest phenomenons out there. There's a reason why many magazines and newspapers have a horoscope page, and there's also a reason why almost every bookstore or library has a section dedicated completely to astrology. Many of us could just be curious about why some of us act differently than others and whom we will get along with best, and others may just want to see if their sign does, in fact, match their personality.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

20 Song Lyrics To Put A Spring Into Your Instagram Captions

"On an island in the sun, We'll be playing and having fun"

351405
Person in front of neon musical instruments; glowing red and white lights.
Photo by Spencer Imbrock on Unsplash

Whenever I post a picture to Instagram, it takes me so long to come up with a caption. I want to be funny, clever, cute and direct all at the same time. It can be frustrating! So I just look for some online. I really like to find a song lyric that goes with my picture, I just feel like it gives the picture a certain vibe.

Here's a list of song lyrics that can go with any picture you want to post!

Keep Reading...Show less
Chalk drawing of scales weighing "good" and "bad" on a blackboard.
WP content

Being a good person does not depend on your religion or status in life, your race or skin color, political views or culture. It depends on how good you treat others.

We are all born to do something great. Whether that be to grow up and become a doctor and save the lives of thousands of people, run a marathon, win the Noble Peace Prize, or be the greatest mother or father for your own future children one day. Regardless, we are all born with a purpose. But in between birth and death lies a path that life paves for us; a path that we must fill with something that gives our lives meaning.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments