I found out in December that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I forgave him. I forgave him again in January, February, and even in March- when I finally walked away. I spent two weeks in France with him after I had moved out because I wanted to believe I could fix it. But when my feet hit U.S. soil where I got home to my empty apartment and began to unpack everything I owned, I realized exactly why he cheated.
So, here’s my divine revelation as to why my boyfriend cheated on me- it’s because I allowed it. At 24-years-old, the instant that I found out should have been the exact moment that I gathered my things and hit the door. Because in your 20’s, relationships aren’t about compromising happiness to “make it work.” It's not about "playing house" or trying to rush into commitment. Your 20's are not the time to question your worth at the hands of a man you are not lawfully committed to. It’s not about forgiving someone for an affair or even for verbally abusing you just to say you “stuck it out.” It’s not about justifying someone’s infidelity so that you can move forward in the relationship. You are not tied to this person. You are not bound by marriage and therefore, you do not owe them a “free pass” or even the time of day to discuss such issues.
Your 20’s are the time you cut someone from the team for even looking at another girl the wrong way. It’s the time to enjoy each other’s company, to build a relationship on respect and understanding, and to be head over heels in love with the person you’re dating. It's the time to focus on personal growth and your future without negotiating your goals with someone else. It's about learning to forgive without allowing further damage to affect you. Because forgiving someone for infidelity in your 20’s is enabling that person to make even bigger mistakes as the relationship gets older. If he can’t behave before kids or a mortgage, he definitely won’t have any qualms about misbehaving in the future. What you allow to happen in your relationships in your 20’s is what will continue into your later adult life.
