This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to attend the Seventh Annual Five School Queer Gender and Sexuality Conference at Hampshire College. Myself, along with a record-breaking number of people from Trinity, attended this conference, which had influential keynote speakers, workshops on everything under the sun, and an environment that let everyone in attendance be completely themselves. The people that put the conference together made it all inclusive, and there were people from almost every race, gender, sex, sexuality, and even people who did not want to label themselves at all. It was a collection of individuals coming together and being open to learning more about themselves and each other.

During the course of this conference I learned self defense from a Polyamorous Transgender woman, talked about micro-aggressions, went to a panel on Polyamory with a Poly Family (three women, two men and four children), and met about 30 different people who I wish I could have spent a month with, not just two days. I heard about stories so completely different from my own and I heard some of the same. I learned when to talk and when to listen. I realized that gender is a performance and that how long our hair is, makeup, nail polish, dresses and jewelry are just as fun and appropriate for men to wear as women. It was a conference to learn about acceptance and to not judge people for anything except their souls.

The two-day conference began on Friday with a Transgender, queer, person of color (POC) named J. Mase III. J Mase is a poet and performer who started off the conference with a bang. If you want to talk about someone who is completely and unapologetically themselves on all levels, J is the person to see. J Mase took the stage and talked about the people who created feelings of being marginalized, people who made them feel uncomfortable and about the oppression of being black. Nothing was out of J. Mase’s comfort zone and one could only aspire to be as funny, insightful, and powerful as J was. The words spoken made an impact, just as they should, and clearly resonated with the crowd who snapped and clapped to show their solidarity, their understanding and support for the work J Mase is doing.

There were also three other keynote speakers. Lorelei Erisis, a self-proclaimed “weirdo” and “six foot four transgender woman” began day two of the conference. She talked and yelled and bounced around the room. She got people excited to be beautifully and uniquely themselves. Then in the middle of the day there was another set of speakers, Olympia Perez and Sasha Alexander who discussed “Admission” and the difference between gaining admission and having an entry. Olympia Perez is an Afro-Latina Transwoman who is a poet, healer, multimedia artist and her speaking partner Sasha Alexander is a non-binary, trans, mixed race black/Asian facilitator educator and does about twelve other amazing things. And though their presentation on Admission was fantastic, a true testament to how institutions marginalize the queer community, I found the speakers themselves fascinating. In front of me were two people who were so much more than their sex, gender, or sexuality. These individuals transgress all boundaries to just be active and beautiful people in this world. Their definitions of self are not the whole of who they are, and someone’s identity is only a minuscule portion of the person inside that body.

These keynote speakers taught me solidarity. As a white cisgender girl, I cannot identify with the struggles of a Queer Transgender performer, or a six foot four transgender woman, or anyone in the queer community who is a person of color. I understand only my life, not theirs; and through them, I have found the meaning of solidarity. I am there as a supporter; I will not try to fight battles that are not my own. And I will never speak for those who can speak for themselves. But I will stand in solidarity. I will believe in what these people fight for and stand behind them, not beside them.

In the end, at this conference, I learned not to judge. I learned the difference between trying to speak for someone or being in solidarity. I learned how to flip a human being. I met people who live lives completely different from mine and saw these people blindingly happy. But most importantly I found that being unapologetically yourself in every form is the best thing you can do for your soul.