So I recently stumbled upon my old phone from when I was 16. I don’t know about you, but my now 19 almost 20 year old self is wildly different from my 16-year-old self. I was a sophomore in high school; an awkward, socially confused, pimple faced gal (not much has changed there I guess).
This phone is like a time capsule of who I once was, someone who feels so foreign to me now. The last text I sent was to a girl who used to be my best friend, the type of best friend you think it going to last forever, but who is no longer in my life at all. At the time, we did everything together and spoke 24/7 when we weren't together. And now we haven’t spoken in years.
If you scroll to the 4th last person I texted, it is my other best friend at the time. She was less of a friend I thought I was gonna have forever; I think I knew deep down our friendship wouldn’t be one I would take with me into adulthood. But we don’t talk anymore either.
She’s foreign to me now, but based on these texts I knew everything about her. I knew everything about both of them, and now they are strangers to me.
The more I scroll, the more I realize that I don’t regularly talk to any of the people I used to text. Besides my relatives, none of the people in my old messages align with the people in my current messages. A lot can change in three years; I’ve finished and graduated high school and completed my freshman year of college since I’ve had this phone. My entire social circle has changed, and I have changed.
My camera roll is riddled with disgusting photos of me. If you ask anyone that knows me personally, they’ll be able to tell you that I look absolutely nothing like I did in high school. That’s not me being overdramatic; I genuinely look like a different person. I think it’s the hair.
This trip down phone memory lane has opened my eyes up to something: while I may look different, and have a different life, and hang out with different people, I’m still me. Sure, I’m a new and improved version of me, but me nonetheless. After three years, my password is the same. I’ve had different passwords and phases since, but ultimately I’m the same, just older.
