Oftentimes people focus on the bad things that come out of a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, being hurt is one of the worst feelings. However, sometimes it feels impossible to bounce back after feeling so lost and distraught. When I was a sophomore in high school I had my first real heartbreak. I’m not too much older now than I was then, and I’ve run into some even worse heartbreaks than that one. From my experiences, I offer advice. After seeing such a focus on relationships and needing to find one in the media, on television, in movies, or even after your friends post a cute pic with their boyfriends, it gets really difficult to realize that being by yourself isn’t all that bad. It also shows you that you will be OK. Here’s a few realizations and tips from a mediocre love expert.
1. You'll be OK.
The way I look at it, I was perfectly fine before “Mr. Right” decided to break my heart, and I’m sure I can get right back to happiness. Another way to think about that: you were single before him, you will be just fine afterwards. It’s too true when people tell you that there are other fish in the sea. You find someone and they are the best thing since sliced bread, but then all of a sudden they are gone. It sucks; it really, really sucks. But, then you find someone else who seems ten times better, am I right? So like I said, you’ll be okay; just keep swimming.
2. You won't be exactly the same.
There is a limit on how many heartbreaks and letdowns someone can take. It’s one. One is the limit; and unfortunately it does exist. Once one guy breaks your heart, you seem to look at life differently. You learn not to fall too quickly. You learn to withhold all of yourself because you don’t want to open up to someone for nothing. You will look at every guy from now on and see the faults that they have, and unfortunately it will outweigh the positives. But that is no way to look at it! Take a chance. Find someone amazing, who makes you truly happy, and see where it goes. If it goes south, you’ll be okay.
3. Falling in love with your best friend is the best, and worst.
The one time in a relationship that I let myself fully fall in love, it was the best relationship of my life. Before it all went south, of course. It was beautiful and fun, and I would still do anything for him. That’s unfortunate, isn’t it? You get screwed over and sure enough the heart will allow you to relive it every time you see his tweet about wanting a girl to “cuddle” with, or seeing his snapchat with a hotter girl at his new college, or seeing his mom post a Facebook status about how much she loves him (no matter how much you still love his mom). The littlest things will kill you, and I promise it is completely normal, and you'd still go back to the person even after everything. But at the end of the day, you’re so much better than you think without them. You have so much going for you, and you don’t need them to make you happy!
4. Sad country songs and "The Notebook" do not help.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It will only make it worse. Get off your couch or bed, go out with your friends, and have a good time with your life! No matter what age you are, you’re too young to be crying over some stupid boy! I promise listening to Rascal Flatts on repeat is not going to help you in the long run. Neither will crying with your Ben and Jerry's while quoting the part of "The Notebook" when Noah asks Allie, "What do you want?" You’ll actually just look back and realize that now “What Hurts the Most,” is the number one song played in your Top 25 on ITunes and Rachel McAdams is the luckiest girl in the world. Delete him off of every social media and don’t answer his texts or calls, and just go be happy!
5. Finding little things in life that make you happy is crucial.
Sometimes people just get in bad moods, randomly. Finding little things that make you happy is so crucial to putting you back on your feet. This doesn’t even have to do with a boy. This is just life. Sometimes, things are going to beat you down, and you are a strong woman who can stand right back up. By little things, I really do mean little. I personally could listen to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” one time and be bubbling with joy. I could also watch Vine for 20 minutes and be in tears laughing. It’s really just the littlest things that make you laugh in life. Laughter is the best medicine after all!
6. One day you will find someone perfect.
In all the negatives, there are a lot of positives that get undermined. Especially the main point. There is someone out there for everyone. You WILL find someone who makes you feel like the most important person in the world to them. All of those tears that you have shed will turn into tears of joy. That guy who broke your heart won’t matter. You’ll look back one day and say to your kids exactly what I am saying to you now. Most importantly, you will find happiness with yourself (first and foremost) and eventually someone else as well.
At the end of the day, being hurt is a terrible feeling. You can feel so weak and powerless, but you should never have to. You should feel beautiful and strong. Happy. Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission, and keep on smiling.
