To preface this, when I write articles for the Odyssey, I subconsciously write what my readers who know me expect me to write. I share my articles on my social media platforms so, in a sense, I’m aware that all of my followers can see what I write. Not going to lie, that makes me feel extremely vulnerable. I’ve taken a bit of a break from writing for the past month because I haven’t necessarily been feeling like myself.
Society tells you it’s okay to not feel like yourself sometimes, it happens to everyone. If I was going to write something my readers would expect me to write, I’d be writing about how society is right. But, to be honest, sometimes it’s not always okay.
Everybody faces their own battles and expectations within themselves. For me, I question if I’m good enough — for my major, for the boy I like, for my family’s expectations. Society tells me ‘you are good enough,’ and I shouldn’t be feeling this way. But, hearing those words didn't stop me from constantly questioning myself.
I was stuck in a mentality of ‘what can I do to change a certain aspect of myself.’ I’ve come to realize this mentality is making me feel empty. I've been putting my self-worth in other people’s hands and it’s been leading me to be more self-conscious than I ever have been.
Truthfully, I wasn’t sure how to go about explaining how I’ve been feeling. There have been times where I’ve felt defeated. I’ve felt like I’m not good enough and I couldn’t change enough things about myself to ever be satisfied. That in itself is such a draining cycle to deal with.
Throughout all of this, I’ve come to an important conclusion...
My self-worth isn’t defined by other people’s expectations — I am good enough.
Sometimes acknowledging that your mindset isn’t necessarily okay is the best start to making yourself feel okay again.
