To the naked eye, being Italian simply means having top-notch cooking skills, a short temper, and an incredible head of hair (and hair everywhere, for that matter). Indeed, there is much more than meets the eye when it comes to us Italians. Sure, we hold some damn great Sunday dinners and we catch a tan easier than a marshmallow over a campfire, but what sets us apart from the Irish, the Spanish, the Greek, and anyone else for that matter is our outlook on life. Instilled into every young ragazzo or ragazza from a traditional Italian family are the very values that our ancestors from the old country knew to be true then, and still live on today. Even from when I was a little girl, I knew that my family was a little different from the others. I knew that my classmates probably wouldn't know what a San Pellegrino was and would never be up for swapping their Capri Sun pouches for it. I never comprehended the fact that most kids didn't have both sets of grandparents live walking distance from their own house. Those things and more are what taught me from a very young age that I was from an ethnic household. And honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Here are just a few of the many life lessons I've picked up from growing up with mia famiglia.
Family before everyone and everything.
It's the golden rule of Italians. You've heard it in every mafia movie and any trashy reality television show with the words "New Jersey" in the title. In fact, it's a little stereotypical that Italians have big, loud, hungry families. There's a reason why we stress family so much in our culture and that is loyalty. I always say that my relatives can be so zany that I could probably gather up enough anecdotes for a novel one day. And between family dinners, living minutes apart from each other, and group vacations, these people basically write the material themselves. But, no matter who walks in or out of your life, it's your insane, nutty family that will always be there.
Food can solve just about anything.
Or coffee, for that matter. To Italians, a meal is much more than something that happens three times a day. The meal is where the family gets together and celebrates their blessings as a cohesive unit..A meal is the one set time of the day where the Italian family bonds over fragmented conversation between bites of sensational plates of food. In addition, it doesn't matter how big or small the issue, it can and will be resolved with food. You had a bad day at work? Have a rice ball. Arguing with your best friend? Send her over a dozen cannolis and call it even. Simply, food is Italian penicillin.
Some traditions are meant to be preserved.
You may be thinking, "It's 2016 and these people still put plastic covers on their couches and hold family dinners every week. Isn't that a little archaic?" Yes, the answer is yes. But just like Nonna's plastic couch cushions, there are certain traditions in the Italian culture that should not be tampered with, regardless of how much time has passed or how society around us has evolved. No matter how old I get, I will still order shellfish at a restaurant because my Nonno will notice and tell me what great taste I have. I don't think I will ever spend a Thanksgiving or Christmas Eve in my lifetime without at least 25 people in attendance. Bottom line: we're big on sticking to an "out with the new, in with the old" philosophy. If that bothers you, sorry.
Work hard for everything and you can never go wrong.
Historically, Italians are some of the most hard-working people in the world. Our people were artists, scientists, architects, and some of the greatest minds in the world. I'm sure Nonno probably reminds you of this fact almost every time you see him. Regardless, those famous Italians set the standard of hard work and diligence that modern-day Italians maintain today. To this day, when I'm stressed out over a class or a paper, my dad will remind me that as long as I'm doing my best, I will achieve the best. It's the Italian way of thinking that if our ancestors could manage to become as successful and notable as they had become, just from working hard, then anything is possible for our generation today.
Your voice should always be heard and if it's not being heard, speak louder.
Stereotype #7384963: Italians don't have "inside voices." In fact, I'm convinced that Italian schools merely forget to teach the concept of "whispering" to little Italian children. Thus, they grow up to become loud, fast-talking Italians who yell a lot. At the typical Sunday dinner table, the volume is probably somewhere around glass-shattering decibels. However, I've learned that we do this because Italians know that your voice matters. If you have something to say, don't hold it in. Don't whisper it. Don't slip it into conversation and let it die in the empty air. Be confident in what's on your mind and just yell it out. And if your not being heard, speak louder so you will be.
Among other things, my Italian family has taught me that your culture is a bigger part of who you are than you could ever imagine. It's up to you to embrace those values that have been instilled in you by your heritage and be proud of where you come from. For me, I use the lessons that my big, loud family has taught me whenever I feel that I'm at a crossroad. Being Italian is just one piece of my puzzle. But, I wear it proudly and know that wherever life takes me, my heritage will help see me through.
