There are a lot of things I’m not certain about, a lot of things I can’t offer any advice on. One thing I can say for sure is that feelings can be scary as hell. Most of the people on this planet are struggling to stay happy all the time or are keeping their emotions on lock down. At one point, I was both of those people. Being hurt has taught me endless things, both about myself and about the world. The main thing is this: shutting yourself away from your feelings creates nothing but misery. Learn to be vulnerable. Learn to think less, and to feel more.
To feel like you’re good enough you have to believe that you’re good enough. Realize that everybody has flaws. Everyone has faced rejection and imperfection. Accepting these things makes it easier to lean into vulnerability. It’s always going to be scary; there’s always going to be the chance that things may not go to the way you want. But, there’s always the chance that things will go exactly the way you want, and always the chance that your expectations will be exceeded.
Understand that you can’t control everything.
You can’t and shouldn’t strive to be happy all the time. Be honest instead. Don’t limit yourself to one emotion in a body and mind filled with limitless feelings. You won’t be happy forever. Just like you won’t be sad forever. Our feelings are fleeting, constantly; don’t block them out. If you can’t be open with yourself, you can’t be open with others. And once you start to think you’re good enough, once you start to accept that happiness isn’t a constant emotion, you’re easier on yourself. You’re easier on others. You’ll welcome feelings as they come and as they go. Even if you’re not happy in the moment you’re aware that you will be soon enough.
Try to grasp the concept that your past can’t touch you unless you allow it to. When people hear about love, they often think about the destruction and heartbreak it led them to. Of course this means you’re going to be scared of being exposed again. But, by locking yourself away to prevent the mere possibility of potential anguish, you’re also shutting away the possibility of feeling anything at all. Including any kind of joy.
Think of it like this: as babies we come out screaming. Totally open. Totally alive. As children we aren’t concerned with the idea of imperfection, or the possibility of rejection. It is so important to hold onto that.
People look at being open as being weak. Being open is being alive. To simply exist is not enough. Love is unpredictable. Feelings, and life, can be…erratic. To let yourself be this vulnerable to uncertainty is the most pure example of bravery. It is what being alive really looks like.
