I think that one of the greatest things people struggle with is one of the things that should be the easiest for us to do: love ourselves.

I’m not talking about being narcissistic and thinking you’re better than everyone else, but just appreciating who you are and what you have to offer. I’ve personally struggled with this a lot before just as I know that a lot of other people have. To be honest though, I don’t think you can get a lot places in life until you learn to do this.

There are many reasons we’re prevented from loving ourselves and those include: disliking our appearance, feeling that we aren’t good enough at a passion, school or a career, being rejected or unnoticed by crushes, past experiences and traumas, and society. Society as a whole may not be easy to change but I believe that we don’t have to dwell on these other things that make us feel like less of a person.

So how can we fix our perspectives of ourselves? First, we have to let go of what we can’t control, which is a lot of things. We can control how hard we work and how much effort we put into something, but outside of that, there’s not whole lot we can do but see how it goes. This is true for education, careers, significant others, etc. For instance, you can study as hard as you possibly can and even get help from a teacher to still only get an average grade on a test. It’s happened to me and I’m sure many others but that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. It’s really hard not to let grades make us feel bad but they also don’t always determine how successful we’ll be. They certainly don’t determine if we’re good enough for what we want to do. You just have to keep going.

It can also be really hard if you like someone or have strong feelings for someone that are unrequited, even if you’re in a relationship. It’s easy to think that this person doesn’t like you because you aren’t good enough for them, but in reality that’s very untrue. If one person doesn’t see how amazing you are then someone else will. But the trick is not to dwell on it like you did something wrong. Sometimes two people just aren’t meant to be and that’s okay. Focusing on it is what’s bad. Know that love will find you when you’re ready.

We also can’t let the things that have happened to us affect how we see ourselves. I’ve come to the conclusion that everyone goes through stuff. We all face different challenges and sometimes it’s easy to feel really alone and unworthy because of those things, but it’s just life. It’s not personal to who we are. It’s important to keep perspective on this and that you’re definitely not the only one who has been kicked when they’re down. Not to quote High School Musical, but we’re all in this together.

When it comes to appearance, we’re all different from another and we need to realize that’s the beauty of it. Every time we see someone else who think is prettier or more attractive than us, they don’t think they’re as good as someone else. We all compare ourselves without really meaning to, but we shouldn’t. And before anyone else can accept you for who you are you’ve got to accept yourself.

Also, keep active. Both physically and mentally. Keep active in every way actually. Working out releases endorphins so it’s healthy for your body in so many ways. Don’t do it for the purpose of losing weight or trying to look better, do it because it will make you feel that much better both inside and out. Even taking a walk for forty-five minutes three times a week will make you feel better about yourself. Keeping active in other ways can include involving yourself in as many things as possible, such as clubs at school and applying for different jobs and internships. It can also just mean taking up different hobbies like baking or writing. At some point you find different things you’re good at and different opportunities you receive and this can all increase confidence.

So do it. Take the steps to start loving yourself.