Lana Del Rey released the title track of her forthcoming album, Lust For Life, just a few days ago, featuring guest vocals from The Weeknd. Just under a month ago, she released the lead single of the album, "Love."
So, naturally, my love for the elusive, whimsical, glamorous, and introspective vocalist and songwriter has rekindled to a full blaze, so I've decided to put together a list of the most legendary things this "little harlot, starlet" has ever done.
1. When she tweeted this:
I laugh EVERY single time I see this tweet. There are so many questions I have. Why is “the” written like that? Why does she start off with “um?” Who is this about? I’ll probably never solve this mystery, but at least it’s evident that her lyrics aren’t the only relatable content she puts out there.
2. When she didn't release the music video for "Honeymoon" because "nothing really happened in it:"
I SCREAMED when I saw this on Instagram. When has an artist ever implied that a music video was too boring to release, let alone on social media for her fans to see? At least she’s honest. (And if I’m being honest, “Honeymoon” is a pretty boring song itself, anyways - no tea no shade.)
3. When she predicted that NASA would discover those new planets:
Lana released the music video for “Love” on February 20, and it features a bunch of teenagers floating through space in their retro cars and frolicking around psychedelic-looking planets while she sings on the MOON. NASA announces the discovery of a bunch of new planets two days later. Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
4. When she invited her Twitter followers to join her in bewitching Donald Trump:
Not that any of us were all that surprised that witchcraft would be something that interests Lana, or even something she practices in her free time, but it was still one of the most shocking means of dissent that I think we’ve seen towards our new president as of lately. What a way to stick it to the man, honestly! Lana has also stated multiple times that the election and the current state of the world guided much of the writing and production of Lust For Life, so it shouldn’t be a surprise if many of its songs end up being quite political.
5. When she invented music itself:
Beethoven? I don’t know him. Mozart? Who? That’s right ladies and gentlemen… This woman, this one right here, invented music itself with the release of her perfect audible specimen of an album, Born To Die (specifically with the songs "National Anthem," "Off To The Races," and "Video Games"). Everything you learned in your elementary school music class is FAKE NEWS!
6. When she spent three albums giving her listeners depression only to cure it with "Lust For Life:"
Born To Die (and Paradise), Ultraviolence, and Honeymoon, are all beautiful, heavily conceptual albums, but they are pretty dire and sad tonally. These three albums display Lana crooning about heartbreak ("Pretty When I Cry"), the death of a soulmate ("Dark Paradise"), the pressures of fame ("God Knows I Tried"), addiction, daddy issues (I can guarantee not the kind you’re thinking of), and greed ("National Anthem"), and if you listen to them long enough… you’ll find yourself getting sad about literally everything. To top it all off, each album cover shows Lana pouting out to the viewer.
BUT NOW, Lana is beaming on the cover of Lust For Life, and pretty flowers adorn her hair. Both “Love” and “Lust For Life” are upbeat songs that feature lyrics dealing with the importance of falling love, embracing youth, and having a desire to live life to the fullest. And this is only a taste of what’s to come when the full album releases. Sadness = obliterated! No more sad songs, am I right ladies?
7. When she started calling her fans "kids:"
"Look at you kids with your vintage music..." she croons at the beginning of "Love." And then right there on her Instagram: "Hey kids;" KIDS! It's about time she finally fully embraces her role as an icon for youth, especially since we've been calling her our mother for years now.
8. How she literally wakes up every morning and converts oxygen into carbon dioxide:
That's right kids: no one does the human body's most basic function in order to survive as iconically as Lana does. Every single day, Lana Del Rey wakes up, stretches, and breathes. I'd like to see YOUR fave make simply existing be that legendary.
If you made it to the end of this listicle, you're probably wondering what the hell you just read. But believe me when I say that this how Lana's fans talk about her and meme about her within her fanbase. I'm just the first person dumb enough and ironic enough to put it in an article (probably).
Lust For Life is expected to release by the end of springtime 2017.