Okay, I’ll admit it – I develop crushes on guys faster than nearly anyone I know. It seems like every week, there’s a new guy added to my list of those to admire from a distance. It’s no surprise to me that many would label me as boy crazy. I’m the queen of flirting with Tinder matches and having unrequited crushes. Being the boy crazy girl can be crazy fun, but it can also be degrading and draining.
Whenever a friend needs help sending the perfect text to her crush, I’m not surprised when she calls on me for help. Even though I don’t have the perfect track record for long-term relationships, everyone knows my flirting game is very strong. My friends are proud of me for my Tinder and Bumble match games and conversations, and they’re also amazed at my ability to find stuff out about my crush from my English class who I’ve never actually talked to. While this makes me blush with pride, the annoying thing about being labeled as the boy-crazy girl (or in some cases, the hookup girl) is that no one takes me seriously when I say I want a relationship.
Sure, there are times when I flirt with boys just for the fun of it. There’s no denying that flirting is fun and harmless in many cases. However, I do enter a lot of these flirtation-ships with serious intentions. People assume that because I’m messaging multiple guys at once that I’m not going to want to settle down, but I do. Sure, the constant attention is nice and a huge confidence booster, but that’s all it really is. There is no substance to these relationships. 99% of the time they lead nowhere and cause more heartache than anything else. I can’t stop being the flirty, boy-crazy girl because it’s in my nature, however, opposed to common belief I’d give anything to find that one person who is different. I’d love to find someone who makes all the other messages seem empty. I’d love to find someone who gives me butterflies every time their name flashes across my phone screen. I’d love to find someone who wants something more than just a college fling. This is hard to find when no one takes you seriously just because you’re a little flirtatious.
Being labeled the boy-crazy girl has its pro’s and con’s, as any other label does. It can be a huge compliment at times and the rudest thing someone could possibly say to you in other moments. Another problem I have with the boy-crazy label is that we’re stereotyped as being easy. People assume that because we develop crushes like we’re still in middle school that we’d sleep with anyone who walks, which isn’t the case. Believe it or not, I have standards. Also, just because I’m crushing on someone doesn’t mean I’m going to get in bed with them. I’m well aware of reality and I understand that likely won’t happen, and I’m perfectly okay with that. A lot of the time, I don’t want it to go that far anyway.
Boy-crazy girls can be some of the goofiest, fun girls to be around, but they are so much more than their label. They can be intelligent, kind-hearted, generous, respectful, determined. They can be witty, calm, supportive, or understanding. They can be great friends and wonderful women. Being a little boy-crazy does not define a woman and does not define what she’s looking for when it comes to love. Just because she’s a little more open with her crushes and lets them consume a bit more effort than they should means nothing. It’s time we knocked the negative stigma related with being the boy-crazy girl and started admiring their game.
