Hardly anybody my age knows how to be a good friend anymore. Apparently my generation was raised on cancelling at the last minute, not making definite plans and flat out ignoring someone until they stop asking you to hang out. I wish I could say I understood people, but I don't. All I know is that I have been figuring out who my true friends are lately.
If I am being honest, I don't have many friends in my college town. I am not into the party scene at all; my idea of a good time is grabbing a cup of coffee, not a bottle of beer. I have one or two friends here, and that's okay. My other friends are friends from home, friends I grew up with, danced with or went to church with. I always make it my top priority to see these people when I come home, but it often seems my efforts are one sided. It saddens me that the people who call themselves my best friends and text me all the time about how they want to visit me in my college town cannot be bothered to see me when I roll into town. Granted, it's not every friend who does this, but I tend to focus on the ones who do.
There's nothing more disheartening than constantly asking people to hang out but never receiving a text or a call unless you initiate it. I get it, we all have busy lives, but it takes 30 seconds to send someone a text and let them know you're thinking about them. And it's honestly so annoying to text someone with read receipts but they never reply even after reading your message.
I believe that true friendship is a two way street. Both parties have to make an effort and if it's one sided, it just won't work. This being said, lately I have realized who my true friends are. Here are a few do's and don'ts to help you decipher if you've got a true friend on your hands, or a sub-par one.
True friends do:
1. Have your back no matter what.
2. Make an effort to squeeze in time to see you even if they are busy.
3. Actually visit you (if you live out of town).
4. Not pressure you to do things you don't want to.
5. Love you despite your mistakes.
6. Listen to your everyday life stories as if they were actually exciting.
7. Make the "first move" in asking you to hang out with them.
True friends don't:
1. Make excuses not to see you.
2. Only talk to you when they are in a crisis.
3. Ask you to change.
4. Spread rumors about you, or about your other friends.
5. Believe rumors without confronting you first.
6. Make fun of your passions or hobbies.
7. Leave you in the dust when you need them the most.
True friends are a rarity these days, but you'll find them. I think it's important to remember that we also have to have the qualities that make up a good friend. Put two good people together and you'll have a friendship to last a lifetime--and that's a big blessing.
