You Know You're a Foodie When...

You Know You're a Foodie When...

18 things you do if you LOVE food

Foodie (noun): A person who loves and knows anything and everything related to food

I am 100% a foodie - I love food, and I love making food too. If you are a foodie like me, than you are guilty of more than a few of the following.

1) Watching food videos is the ultimate satisfaction

One of Buzzfeed's TASTY video popping up on your Facebook leads to a trap of watching countless videos of tossing pasta, frosting cake, or drizzling chocolate sauce.

2) One of the best parts of holidays is the food

You can actually have an excuse to stuff your face with as much food as humanely possible!

3) You remember everything you ate

When people bring up a holiday, vacation, or event you will most likely remember what food you ate as some of the main highlights.

4) Hangry is a part of your vocabulary

Hangry (adj.) : A state of anger resulting in lack of food; hunger causing a negative change in emotional state.

5) Free're there!

6) You will pretty much try anything new

Nothing phases you in the food world. You are willing to taste things that are unusual or from other cultures. Sushi? Yum! Kimchi? Why not! Escargot? Sure, I would give it a try.

7) You take pictures of your food

Yes, you are one of those annoying people. Whether it's for your food Instagram or you just like taking pictures of food in general, you have to snap a picture of your meal...unless of course you get too excited and eat it first.

8) Sharing food is never an option

9) Going to a restaurant is so exciting

Spontaneously deciding to go out to eat is so much fun and when you have a meal at a restaurant coming up, you are excited about it days in advance.

10) Food Network is your go to channel

Food Network is one of your top channels, especially when you are bored and have a lot of time on your hands. You know all the chefs, all the shows, and could spend hours watching the Food Network. (Oh and the magazine is really good too!)

11) It takes you forever to decide what to order at a restaurant

How can you possibly decide when everything sounds so good!?

12) You feel like you have the knowledge and palate of a professional chef

As a result of watching countless hours of Food Network and making so much food, you are basically an expert. You can explain what a truffle tastes like, what miss en place means, how to flambé, and how to pronounce tzatziki.

13) Cooking is so much fun!

Cooking and/or baking is one of your favorite pastimes. You love searching Pinterest for recipes and experimenting in the kitchen.

14) You are slightly offended by people who don't like what you like

When someone doesn't like a food or restaurant you breaks your heart. How can someone possibly not like cheese? Or guacamole? Or waffles?

15) You sit at the table before the food is even ready

Because you are just THAT excited to eat!

16) You are known for giving "Chopped" judge level critiques and descriptions

17) Food is the first thing you think of

You always wonder... "What's for dinner?."

18) You just plain and simply love food!

Is it bad that I have done all of these at some point? My friends and family always make fun of my ridiculous food obsession. How many of these have you done before?

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9 Awkward Situations That Happen When You're An Adult With A Child's Diet

Turning 21 and realizing that you also hate alcohol.

Do you, too, eat the same, simple foods that equate to those of a five year old's diet? Do you have to check the menu before going out with friends? Do you dream about pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese? Well, you're at the right article and I'm sure you can relate! Here are some things that happen when you're like me and can only eat like a child.

1. Going to Chipotle and watching your friend get all the toppings and you getting nothing but rice and chicken.

Who's more disappointed, you or the friend?

2. Buffets end up being the best option because then you know if there isn't anything you like to eat, you know you can depend on the kid's section!

3. ...but then you remember that you're spending good money on a buffet and you're just eating mac and cheese and chicken nuggets.

Well, this is a waste.

4. Being invited to a party and having to text the host what kind of food there will be, just in case you have to eat before you get there.


5. Meeting new people and they ask you why you can't just try new foods.

*sigh* I HAVE tried new foods. Sometimes I try an actual food, sometimes I eat the side salad that comes with my food. I just CAN'T HELP THIS. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M LIKE THIS. JUST LET ME EAT MY PIZZA IN PEACE.

6. Sometimes you have both the picky eater lifestyle with the small appetite and you're judged hardcore for both eating children's food and not even finishing it.

Again... why am I like this.

7. You can hardcore relate to the viral videos of the crying kids with food.

Like the boy on Wife Swap who packed his bags and left home because the swapped mom got rid of his bacon, or the girl who cried because she can't stop dreaming about waffles. THEY HAVE THEIR FOODS THEY'RE COMFORTABLE WITH, JUST LET THEM HAVE IT, MAN.

8. Going out on dates is a struggle because you have to figure out when is a good time to talk about how you don't eat like an adult.

How about we just never go out to eat? That's a good way to never have to find out if that's not okay with the person you're dating. Yeah, we can just eat before we see each other.

9. Turning 21 and realizing that having the child's diet also includes hating the taste of alcohol.

What's the best thing I can get that actually tastes like alcohol but also has like... no strong taste of alcohol? Oh, nothing? Okay... Coca-cola it is, then...

All in all, the best thing about having this child's diet is having friends who don't care about what you eat and will gladly change dinner plans to go somewhere where you have something to eat... even if that means getting something off the kid's menu.

Cover Image Credit: Bruce Mars

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I'm Done Apologizing For Being A Picky Eater

Believe it or not, my eating habits inconvenience me more than you.

I distinctly remember being a small child, sitting at the dinner table and staring down at a plate of vegetables. Unlike many parents, mine had never demanded that I finish my meals before getting up from the table. They were too familiar with the consequences of that strategy to try it.

But this time, I ate the vegetables voluntarily. I was trying to be a good kid.

I promptly threw up, confirming the reason no one had made any strenuous efforts to introduce vegetables into my regular diet.

Plenty of little kids detest vegetables, even if not all of them have such visceral physical reactions to ingesting them. Most, however, grow out of it.

I have not. In my favorite college dining hall, there is an extensive salad bar. The only item I’ve ever consumed from it? Hard-boiled eggs. The rest, a colorful display of vegetables, nuts, and dressings, I watch enviously.

I wish I could put any of that in my mouth without gagging.

Being a picky eater comes with a certain level of shame. I’m forever fumbling through explanations of my preferences and trying to laugh along with whatever judgmental or ignorant responses come next. (On that note, I promise you won’t find a loophole when I tell you I eat zero vegetables. Not even if you list every single vegetable you’ve ever heard of. Yes, even carrots. Even corn. I meant what I said originally: zero vegetables.)

Eating at restaurants is a headache, especially if it’s with people who don’t know me very well—or worse, people to whom I’m trying to appear sophisticated, or at least mature. And eating at people’s homes is worse: Will I look rude if my plate is virtually empty?

Asking dining hall workers to serve me some but not all of the food offered at their stations is always awkward; I pray I won’t face an over-friendly server who cracks a joke about the nutritional value I’m missing. Even the quieter ones usually look me over and, with varying degrees of skepticism, confirm that I want pasta but not brussel sprouts, beef but not asparagus, tacos with meat and cheese but no lettuce or salsa.

Speaking of lettuce and salsa, ordering at assembly-line chains like Subway and Chipotle is a similar minefield of well-intentioned workers who either laugh at my minimalist preferences or question them. It’s embarrassing enough to order the bare-bones sandwich or taco without having to joke about my embarrassment afterwards.

Overall, I dread attending events with food, because I have to worry beforehand about whether I will go home hungry—and potentially chastised for my lack of flexibility.

I fully understand that my dietary issues pale in comparison to the struggles of people with allergies and religious restrictions, and those recovering from eating disorders, for whom eating in public is even more challenging.

And yet, I wonder why I endure more stigma than them. My situation is easier, and it’s infinitely more possible to power through if necessary. But it’s not more arbitrary. Different people have different taste buds—and mine are unusually quick to sound the “this might be poison” alarm. What tastes delicious or at least tolerable to the masses tastes disgusting to me. It’s not a choice; it’s an automatic sensory reaction.

But being a picky eater is still treated as a mark of childishness. Of being difficult. Even entitled. “Sorry, I don’t like it” is never a legitimate excuse; it’s always the beginning of a negotiation or an eye roll. If picky eaters would just try harder, these reactions imply, we would not be picky anymore.

Trust me, I understand I’ve probably inconvenienced or exasperated you if you’ve ever had to dine with me. But it’s plenty inconvenient for me, too. And on top of worrying about whether I will be able to enjoy eating, I’m worrying about inconveniencing you.

I assure you, if I could snap my fingers and rewire my gustatory system, I would. No questions asked.

But I can’t.

If an occasion involving food is really that important to you, I will eat what you offer and try to keep it down while maintaining a pleasant smile. If it’s not important, though, what do the contents of my plate matter?

Please let me be picky in peace.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Elli O. on Unsplash

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