I recall so many lost relationships in which neither of us could figure out why we just could not click. Whether it be an ex-partner, a lost friendship, or just a loved one, for one reason or another we could not fully understand each other, though our communication may have been excellent. And then my best friend Kaylee introduced me to love languages.
Love languages are five ways in which you either express or receive love.
These include gift giving, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and personal touch. Upon taking the quiz online, not to my surprise, I learned that my love languages were at a tie for words of affirmation and acts of service. Both made sense, as I greatly appreciate a kind compliment now and again, and small acts of kindness, such as opening the car door for me, never go unnoticed.
It got me thinking, did I really not click with some people? Or did we just not understand one another's love languages? When I felt underappreciated in a given relationship, perhaps it wasn't that I was underappreciated at all. Perhaps I was just misunderstanding the ways in which he or she portrayed love.
I remember one friend, in particular, we had been friends for a short amount of time and for some reason could not get closer than the surface level fun and talk. As some of those friendships go we fizzled out. I remember her constantly being hurt by my saying no when she wanted to spend time with me. I just didn't understand, what was the issue?
It turns out her number one love language is quality time- #4 on my list. By my saying "no" and not stressing the importance of spending time with her, she felt as if I was not giving her love. However, as for me, I would give her love in ways I know best, by lifting her up through words and doing small acts of service.
In knowing your love languages as well as becoming familiar with those of your loved ones, you really will start to see drastic changes in the dynamics and well beings of your relationships.
By showing affection the way that person needs it, and by communicating your needs for a portrayal of love and car, your relationship will improve by leaps and bounds.