Millions of people are diagnosed with depression. Depression does, in fact, take lives. Depression is similar to cancer. There is no cure, and it takes hundreds of thousands of lives every year.
1. We can't just "stop being depressed"
Depression is a real illness, not a feeling, but it’s not that easy to just “stop.” It remarkably contrasts from sadness, and sometimes, it’s difficult for people to differentiate the two. Sadness will last about three days, tops. Depression, however, can last for days, weeks, months, and possibly even years. It changes you. Things that were once fun for you, just aren’t the same anymore. It drastically affects your interests, personality, and view on the future.
2. We don’t mean to hurt you, let alone anyone
I cannot stress this enough — we do not want to upset anybody in any way, shape, or form. It is extremely difficult seeing someone, who you love, battle depression. It is genuinely agonizing to see someone who was once so happy, suddenly become sad. And it hurts us, too. It puts us through more pain that our pain gives people we love pain.
3. It is very much real
Depression isn’t an excuse to use when you’re PMS-ing and you want to be in denial of that. Depression is real; it is there; it is eating me alive. Why me? Why any of us? Depression sucks, and if you don’t believe that it is a legitimate disorder, then you should navigate yourself to the little, red “X” in the top right hand corner.
4. We can still have good days.
Not every day may be good, but our lives aren’t totally dictated by this illness. We still smile, we still laugh, we’re still human; our days aren’t always grey skies and yellow Starbursts. Truth be told, depression isn’t all about shitty days. There are some days that are actually okay, where we feel like we’re in control. Those days are the best days; everything just slows down for a moment or two, and you can just relax and feel good about everything.
5. We appreciate your “help"
It may not seem sincere, but we greatly and genuinely appreciate your efforts to put a smile on our lips, but sometimes, it just won’t do. And I hate that because I feel like I’m “needy” or I’m making someone feel like what they’re doing isn’t good enough. It’s hard to express our feelings of gratitude, but trust me, it’s there.
6. Suicide is almost always in the back of our minds
Why don’t we tell you? Because we’re afraid that if we do, it’ll negatively affect you and your everyday life. We don’t want you to feel as if you were some type of component to our suicidal thoughts. Just because we haven’t told you that we think about acting on it, doesn’t mean we haven’t actually before. Not everyone who has depression is suicidal, though. Some feel like they’d be better off gone, but not dead, however.
7. This can’t be fixed
It can’t be fixed by you, a therapist, family, friends, or even a variety of medications like Zoloft or Lexapro. Those are only things that can help relieve it a little bit. It feels good to have someone here who will listen to us talk about how crappy our day was, or taking our meds make our day seem a bit easier, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s all sunshine and rainbows; there are still going to be storms.
8. Please stop saying you understand
If you don’t get it, don’t pretend to. It’s like in school when your teacher asks a question, but you don’t know the answer, you won’t raise your hand, will you? Exactly. Don’t say you understand when we don’t even understand.
9. Little things are like accomplishments
Although getting out of bed might not seem like that big of a deal to you, it’s pretty much everything to us. There are some days where we wake up and wonder if it’s even worth it anymore. We question if our existence is even purposeful.
10. Don’t take it personally
Again, we don’t mean to hurt anyone, and we appreciate the efforts given to help, but sometimes, it just doesn’t work. None of this is your fault, so don’t make it out to seem like it is. We don’t isolate ourselves from society because we hate who makes it up; we do it because we feel like it’s the best thing to do for the sake of everybody’s feelings. The littlest gestures and words can really make someone’s day.
