I'm not sure if you have blocked my number, but I have blocked and deleted yours. So, I guess this is the only way I can contact you now because I know that one day, you will read this.

The day you sit down and decide to Google my name I hope you are kind of missing me. I hope that you are itching to know how I am doing and this is the only way you know how to get ahold of my feelings.

I know that one day you will read this so let me start by saying, I am doing okay. In fact, I am doing so much better without you than I ever was with you. I hope when you read that, it stings a little bit.

I know that one day you will read this and have this feeling of accomplishment and control since it probably seems like if you came back into my life, I would accept you right away. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't let you back into my life at all.

That's the funny thing about you. You would always brag about how good you are at reading people, especially me. You would claim to know my first move before I would even make it, you would thrive off the feeling of complete control. But, you never really knew me.

You used to say that nobody knows me better than you do and your sole argument for that point would be that we've been running these same circles for almost three years now. Time doesn't matter, effort does. Yeah, I have known you for three years and yeah, you have seen me change over that course of time but that doesn't mean you know me. You don't.

I asked you what my favorite color was and all of your guesses were wrong. I asked you what day my birthday is and all you could say was, "May?". You only knew what you chose to learn about me and we both know that wasn't much at all.

I know that one day you will read this, because you always do. You check to see if I've written anything about you - the real you. The guy who shuts his phone off and ignores me on a day we're supposed to have plans. The guy who acts like everything is fine after not speaking to me for almost a year. But I don't write to put you down or to tell the world what a shitty person you are, I don't have time for that.

I know that one day you will read this because I know that you still care. You might argue that you don't or that you never did, but why else would you be on this webpage then? "Because I have a right to know what you publish about me, Alissa." I can hear your voice saying that now. But you really don't. If it were possible I would block you from these articles because you don't have the right to read about my life since you chose to leave it.