Back in 2010, Kid Cudi was on top of the world. He had released two incredibly popular and widely acclaimed albums, he had become a father, as his daughter Vada was born that year, and he had a quick, seamless rise to fame. He did it all just by talking about himself: the struggles he had to get where he was today and relating to thousands of kids who had or were going through depression or all the things he talked about in most of his songs.
It was the realness factor, how his songs weren't about nights at the club, details of a life that most people can't relate to. He talked about drinking and drugs sure, but he talked about it not in the manner of "Hey look I'm having fun and doing drugs isn't my life great?" (which by the way reeks of insecurity), but just talked about his life, good times and bad. It's just eminently more relatable. Rappers (or really most artists for that matter) always talk about their struggle to make it to where they are today. Cudi wasn't any different in that aspect, but the aspects which he presented provided a different viewpoint of "the struggle" he had to go through to become who he was. The matter about which he was so honest and up-front about at all times gave many a prominent voice they could relate to, and even gave hope to those who dealt with depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts, or any of the diseases or problems Cudi talked about in his music. I can say when I felt down, had a bad day or several, or felt even a little bit hopeless, Cudi's music helped.
After "Man on the Moon 2" came out, everyone (myself included) couldn't wait for him to keep writing and putting out hits and jams, music we would want to listen to on our best and worst days. Unfortunately, Cudi's career path has gone the direction that most musicians, actors, athletes and arguably people went: worked hard to make it, made it and had a great run, then steady deterioration as time progressed.
Not that he didn't put out the same act over and over again. Cudi has always been a noted fan of famous rock icons like Kurt Cobain, publishing his third album- "Indicud" - which I thought was alright, but certainly not up to par with his other releases. He then went on a tangent most wouldn't have even thought of doing, changing it up and writing primarily rock rather than the music that made him famous in the first place.
It was a bold decision and if you read any review of his last two albums, it didn't work out in his favor. You have to respect the attempt, ask anyone who got into music and they'll tell you they did it because of someone who inspired them or because it was an outlet or because it was their best way of expressing themselves. For Cudi, it was all three. And even when it wasn't going right for him, he would always provide some aspect of cheery optimism and deep knowledge.
"Don’t let the sadness from the past and fear of the future ruin the happiness of the present.” This is one of several gems that he has written, tweeted or spoken ever since his rise to fame, the best of which can be found here.
Anyway, why am I writing about Kid Cudi? Well, he was supposed to release an album last week, one I wasn't particularly interested in to be honest, but I was looking forward to hearing if it was any good, and even if it wasn't, I was happy that someone who had been through literal hell would still get to do the thing they love.
That didn't happen. Cudi announced he wouldn't be releasing any album, which is sad, but not nearly as sad as the statement he released on his Facebook page:
It's sad enough that he's going to rehab, let alone for the things he's going for, but these are things that could very easily have ended his life if gone untreated. But what's even sadder is that he feels the need to say he's sorry. I hate to hear him talk about how his anxiety and depression have affected and hindered him for so long, but I love how he's willing to talk about it. It's a shame he even feels the need to apologize for, apologizing for something that nobody should have to go through. In that final paragraph, he says he's sorry three times. It tears me apart.
I can't speak towards having expectations nearly as high as people have of him, being an extremely talented, respected, and successful artist, but I can relate to how I feel when I let people down. It's the worst feeling in the world. I can only imagine how he feels thinking he let down millions when really all these years by not dealing with these problems he's only let down himself. I like to think I have high expectations for myself, and I'm sure others share that sentiment, but I can only imagine the pressure it feels to have even higher expectations shared by millions of people, especially given the empowering narrative of Cudi's work. Given that, it's not surprising he feels the need to say he's sorry, but he shouldn't, and anybody that thinks otherwise isn't and hasn't been paying attention.
Cudi, we, your fans, hope you get through this, and whether you make any music or not, whether you'll ever be the same or not, whether you ever achieve peace or not, you'll have already made your mark through your previous work, and from your willingness to talk about things most wouldn't even dream of admitting to. That alone is notable, and the impact you've had on others is immeasurable. We can only hope that through rehab and any other steps you take that you can give yourself what you've been able to give so many all these years. To everyone who Cudi gave something, whatever it was, let us help him through this time. As he put it:
