I've had to kiss a few frogs to get to my prince. When I finally grasped and understood the fundamentals of a healthy relationship, I was able to have a positive and balanced relationship. I'm not saying any of what I share to you therapist approved (if you will) but it's what has worked for me.
1.) Communication
So simple and yet the most difficult because it really can be so hard for two people just to talk to each other. When things get rocky, people tend to go against each other instead of being a team, and working through their problems together. Talk it out. Explain yourself. Express how you feel. When you talk about it as soon as it happens, you avoid small arguments that turn into big explosions because you both have bottled up emotions. Also, it just makes life easier when you're both in the loop.
2.) Space
Don't spend every waking second you have together or text ALL day long. That can get old pretty quickly and eventually you'll run out of things to talk about. It's crucial to your relationship ( at least in mine) that you have somewhat separate routines, which most people do due to jobs or kids or other activities, but its good to be productive during the day and then come back to each other at the end of the day regroup. Snuggle on the couch with a bottle of wine and enjoy each others company! Plus it gives you something to look forward to during the day!
3.) Self Esteem
This is everything. If you have low self-esteem or think little of yourself you will attract this kind of energy. If you don't love and respect yourself, you won't stand up for yourself. I could've dodged so many bullets had I just gotten out of situations that I knew in my heart were all wrong for me. When you've got your biz together, you have a natural glow, a lil more pep in your step. You smile more, you're nicer to everyone and you genuinely are at peace. This attracts people who feel the same, who will be uplifting to your spirit and makes you happy to be around. Good partners will pour into you, and not take away from you.
4.) Don't act out of anger.
For real. When you're mad, your blood starts heating and you're ready to hurt someone and obviously not thinking straight. Especially if your partner has messed up and really hurt you, you automatically want to do something that will hurt them back. Don't. Sleep on it if you feel an impulse coming on that you know you'll regret later. Don't let the anger get the best of you and cost you much more in the long run.
5.) Don't hold grudges.
You'll never be able to grow and progress in your relationship if you're always holding each other accountable for past wrong doings. Resolve the issue and move on.
6.) Be a team.
Encourage each other. Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader, and a good shoulder to lean on when you get overwhelmed. Show interest in their hobbies or jobs and always offer to help where you can, even if you can't do much, it means a lot to know you'll do whatever you can. A strong support system is vital within a relationship.
