As everyone who goes to Kent State knows, there are more black squirrels than there are students. I mean, come on, they are practically our mascot; golden flashes who? On a casual walk to class, you see on average of 10 to 200 black squirrels running all over the place, all of which are attempting to attack you. Those stories of a black squirrels chasing people are totally real; they are the rulers of Kent.
But what if you could be a black squirrel for a day? What would you do? What would you think of all of the students you see on campus? Here's what I predict those creatures are thinking.
That brown squirrel over there is so out of place here, what a loser.
Why are you people trying to catch me? I will eat you alive.
Why is there a picture of me on your shirt? I didn't approve of that.
That person is pointing at me/too close to me. Let me chase them.
NUTS.
There's a statue of me? I look good.
Why is EVERYONE taking a picture of me?
I am THE REAL Kent State black squirrel.
PEACE, LOVE, AND KENT STATE.
But for real, Kent loves our black squirrels. I mean, we have black squirrel radio, black squirrel festival, and over 20 shirts dedicated to them. Black squirrels over brown squirrels any day. Black squirrels should, in all and complete honesty, be our school mascot. Before I came to college at Kent, I had no idea that black squirrels even existed, and now I see a tan squirrel and think something is wrong with it, because it's not a black squirrel.
So that's the list of things I believe Kent State University's black squirrels see/think/do on a day to day basis. Keep doing you, black squirrels, and keep the streets of Kent nut free.
