Almost 2 million people a year are diagnosed with cancer. At least one person you know will be affected, and the reality is you can't do much of anything except hope for the best. Seeing someone learn they have cancer is hard, but seeing them learn they won't survive is the worst. This isn't about the sadness; I'm here to write about making the most of the situation given to you.
It's the time in-between when their world crashes around them and when they pass away that you keep smiling and lift their spirits. Being sad with them sometimes can comfort them and keep them close to reality, but being happy and laughing is the best medicine possible for them. Putting yourself in their shoes really helps you to grasp the situation as best as can be expected for someone who isn't actually the one suffering. Ask them what they want; they know they are sick, and instead of tiptoeing around it, ask them what they want to experience before they go. Make the most of the in-between time. It really does matter.
Sacrifice your time to be with them. You have many more years, but they don't. To have you come see them one Friday night instead of going out with your friends will really show them you care. Stay with them, play Uno or watch a sports game on TV. It honestly doesn't matter what you do, as long as you are there so that they aren't alone. Their thoughts can tear them down; no one wants to think about dying. Being the person to distract them from that darkness is rewarding for them and you.
Hopefully they lived a full life before being diagnosed, and even so, you should still break the rules for them sometimes. Bring them junk food or take them out one day and away from the hospital and the doctor's appointments. Make them feel as normal as possible and remind them that they aren't gone yet; they have more life to live. Make the good days the best days. Don't disregard their sadness either. It's okay to cry with them sometimes and let out the bad feelings, but make sure to help them smile afterwards.
You are their support, and while it's a daunting task, it's worth it. You make the difference in their ending being one to look back and smile at or regret. For all those who are suffering, don't forget to live until your very last day. For those who are the support, don't forget to help them live until their very last day.
