Isn’t it crazy how you can hear something your whole life, but then it clicks years later and it feels like you heard it for the first time?
All my life advice has been given to me from friends and family to “just be yourself,” and if I did this, then supposedly everything would work out fine. But, as a college student who holds the pressure of deciding a career to practice for the rest of my life, the piece of advice to “just be yourself” has become more complicated. Telling myself to be who I am has caused me to ponder the question “Who am I?”
As I look back on my life, I see that when I was younger, I always felt like an outcast. Feeling like an outcast lead me to become a “follower” and a “people pleaser.” It wasn’t until high school that my perspective began to change by forming friendships with people who had similar hobbies and interests. Having these friends allowed me to embrace art, music, my religious views, nerdy television shows, and “punny” jokes that always appealed to me (and now I realize these things make me who I am). These friends also helped me gain a sense of belonging rather than thinking of myself as an outcast.
Although the journey of finding myself began in high school, I didn’t really know what it meant to “just be yourself” until a few months ago as a new college student. As a student, surreal amounts of pressure are weighed on your shoulders to have a successful future. A typical conversation when being introduced to someone at college involves questions such as “what is your major," “where are you from,” “what do you like to do for fun” and “are you involved in anything on campus?” Questions like these all determine the makeup of a person. What you want to do with your life, where you are from, what you enjoy, and what you invest your time into all significantly affect the very being of who you are.
Being yourself is a very deep idea. Whenever I ponder the thought, I always think of my background as a people pleaser and wonder if I am mimicking someone else for their approval or if I am engaging in an activity for the purpose of being unique. Maybe I do these things, and if so, then is that who I am? What do I truly enjoy and what are my true beliefs if they all come from things other than myself? … I know, I am getting a bit philosophical and a little confused by my words as well.
BUT!
I take comfort in Psalm 139:13-16. It says, “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the debts of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
Whenever I get lost in the idea of what it means to “just be yourself,” I reflect on this verse and know that God created me to be who I was, who I am, and who I am going to be with divine wonder and desire. Whoever I am, I have peace in knowing that The Lord knows me and passionately loves who I am. My advice to myself would be to focus more on the fact that I am desired by the marvelous and ultimate being of knowledge and love, The One who created me. The knowledge from The Lord is too vast for my understanding, and therefore if He knows me, then I cannot begin to understand myself.
Just be yourself. Be an individual who is aware that they were fearfully and wonderfully made. Who you are is someone real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, attractive, and worth dying for, and created to be beautiful in more ways than just beauty. “Yourself” is someone who cannot be simply understood. Be someone who isn’t focused on who they are, but ultimately that they are loved, for this is the ultimate truth. Whenever you are put into a situation that someone tells you to “Just be yourself” and you think “I always am, what does that even mean?!” tell yourself that you are LOVED and thoughtfully made. For whenever you don’t have to worry about who you are because you know you are loved and worthy of love, that is the greatest and most peaceful confidence boost.
