Coming from a girl who is leaving her teen years in less than a week with just as many questions as I entered them with, I have nonetheless experienced quite a lot in my first 20 years.
Over the course of my teen years, I have met many different faces and have gone through many trying (and even sometimes embarrassing) stages. In the midst of the chaos that was high school and is now college, you are challenged in many different variations. You are challenged to find your friend group, a love interest, a career interest and most importantly you are challenged to find and come into yourself as a person.
Finding yourself is without a doubt the most challenging of all. You are influenced by your surroundings, your friends, your guy, your likes, your dislikes, your family, your professors, your advisors.That's a whole lot of influence and opinion from others forced upon one person. Try your hardest to not let these people's opinions steer you away from what you want from yourself or out of life.
Dear girl who didn't want to get out of bed this morning because you aren't sure of who the world wanted you to be today,
1. Be yourself
How many times have you heard that in your life? Such a simple phrase you've heard over and over again, but as you've gotten older, you've realized it's not so simple after all. I have been in your shoes time and time again. I've been the girl who wasn't sure of who she wanted to be today, or who she was overall for that matter. I've been the girl who was so bombarded by the person she thought everyone else wanted her to be that she ended up losing herself.
2. Life happens
Things change every single day, but you can't let circumstantial happenings dictate your life and the decisions you make. You can't let what others believe, think, or do affect you in such away that you shy away from who you are as a person. Remember that even if someone's interests aren't similar to your own, that it's okay. You don't have to do exactly what your friends do, or like the same things that the guy you're crushing on does. I have learned the hard way that you can't be the person anyone but yourself wants you to be, because you are not only cheating yourself out of the happiness, but you're denying the people you love the privilege of truly knowing who you are. We are the best version of ourselves when we are happy with the person we are and the decisions that we make.
3. You can't always be the person your best friend wants you to be.
This is probably the hardest thing in the world to grasp. Best friends are our soul mates. I've had guys in my life but no guy has ever come close to understanding me like my best friends do. While your best friends are just that - your best friends- that doesn't 100% mean that they always know what's best for you. Am I saying they'd ever steer you wrong? Of course not. They may always be your go-to girls when you need to figure out what to say back to that guy who just texted you that you've had a crush on for a month, or when you need to figure out what to wear out tonight. But sometimes, they don't always know what's best for you and your own heart.
However, sometimes not being able, to be honest with your friends about how you feel about something, can be the scariest because you haven't exactly been honest with yourself about how you really feel about it. You can't admit something to others if you can't admit it to yourself. They can't know how you truly feel if you never tell them.You can't ever lie to your best friends. If you're feeling left out, or down, or you really like a boy that they hate then use your voice. These human beings love you or otherwise they wouldn't be your best friend(s).
4. You cannot remain comfortably voiceless surrounded by the people that are supposed to empower you and lift you up.
Do not be intimidated by your friends. If you like something, want to go somewhere, feel some type of way about something then speak up. They can never be mad at you for being who you are, if they are then what kind of friends are they? What kind of friend is a person if he or she doesn't support you through thick and thin? What kind of friend are they if you can't look at them and share how passionate you are about the things in your life? Regardless of whether or not your friends like all of the same things you do you still always need to show your friends the real you. Always.
Don't just pretend to like that boy band just because your friend likes the boy band. At the end of the day you have to be the person YOU want to be. Your best friends will love this person especially because it's you. The memories you create, both good and bad with your best friends will stay with you forever so please don't allow them to be bogged down with the knowledge that you aren't who you want to be today. You can't spend what are supposed to be some of the best years of your life running away from yourself.
5. You can't be the person your love interest/boyfriend wants you to be.
You can't wake up every morning and be the reflection of a person that your significant other wants you to be. You can't go the gym five times a week just because your boo thing tells you that you need to stay in shape. You can't miss that party this weekend with all of your friends because that's not the kind of girl your guy wants you to be. Remember to never allow double standards within your relationships (with friends or significant others). If he can go out with his friends then you can most definitely go out. He is NOT the boss of you. While your guy may act like he has your best interest at heart, if you're changing your regular routine and sacrificing a piece of who you are for him then I can happily assure you he's not that great nor is he the one for you.
You can't be the person your mom, or your dad, or your grandpa, or your boyfriend wants you to be. You have to be YOU. I can't stress that enough. Amongst all of the pressure of the outside world the only person who knows who you really are is you. Waking up every day fully content with the person you are, the person you expose to the world is one of the best feelings in the world. You can no longer be scared of who you want to be. Be anxiously excited about who you have yet to become. Each new chapter molds us. Each new face is a lesson. The people written in to the book of your life help shape us into who we are, but just always remember that you are the author of your own story, the author of your own destiny.
