Everyone has some sort of anxiety; It is inevitable. What people don't understand is that there are different levels of anxiety to experience. You see a cute boy or a girl and can become anxious to speak with them. A difficult exam could be approaching quickly and you're anxious that you may not pass. The anxiety I experience is a day-to-day occurrence without knowing when it will arrive.

I walk around every single day with my head held high and a smile on my face, but little do people know is that I am screaming for help with my beautiful smile. I question every interaction and activities I do on repeat. Who will I talk to today? Will I say something ignorant? I know that person thinks I am the weirdest person alive.

From the outside, I seem as though I have my whole life together. I enjoy my time with my friends and give tons of advice because I care, but in a way, I feel as though it is all for nothing. The breaths I take feel heavy as I inhale for fresh air when the anxiety slowly creeps into my life. It builds up leaving a lump in my throat and my chest heavy. The worst part of it all is that most of the time I have no clue where it streams from until it is too late.

For the longest time, I did not understand what my body was trying to tell me. I knew it was not normal because it was different from the common anxiety that people experience. I pushed it aside until I could no longer avoid my situation.

I am 20 years old and I still do not understand the anxiety I experience. How do you tell people you cannot breathe even though you have never been diagnosed with asthma? How do you explain that every once in a while you black out from being so overwhelmed by anxiety? Your world is turned upside down from minutes to even a few weeks or longer of feeling dragged along for a ride.

Every day I learn more about what it means to have anxiety and how to cope with it. One step at a time I manage the lifestyle I may have for the rest of my life. That doesn't mean I suffer every day, but I do wish it would be easier and it will be.

I never want people to look at me differently or feel sorry for me. Just understanding the thought process and experiences me and many others go through every day makes us feel like we are not alone. Anxiety will not be the definition of who I am as a person or how I live.