I’m on my way to school, talking to my father. He and I are talking about what has been happening in our lives recently . Who we have spent time with. What we have been spending time doing lately. Then he asks me what I’m up to. I tell him I’m on my way to school. Then he says those lovely words, ‘It must be nice to just go to school.’ I feel my heart sink in to my chest a bit more. My stomach turns. My brain is so boggled. Just go to school? Just?
Apparently I missed the memo on how to just go to school. Is college that simple? Is what I am doing that minute? That no one would notice how much goes in to this.
Each week I dedicate 15 hours to sitting in a classroom. 10 hours to drive to and from campus. Anywhere from 6-30 pages of reading per class, each week (not to mention I am not a fast reader). Essays to write (brainstorm, research, write, read, rewrite, read, finalize). Presentations to prepare (brainstorm, research, write, read, rewrite, read, finalize, practice, present). Meetings to attend. Groups to work with. The list goes on and on. But it’s just going to school.
I am not a traditional student. I am a commuter. I am a first generation student. I am a working individual. I am a tenant to my apartment. I even own my own business. I am a student, my own boss, employee, daughter, sister, girlfriend, best friend….but it’s just going to school. My plate couldn’t possibly be that full could it?
The media says I am lazy because I don’t work full time. That Netflix is my priority. That I will most likely not use the degree I am earning. That my education may not be worth investing into. But all I have to worry about is school. Because it’s just school.
For sixteen weeks, I will be up between 7 and 7:45am. I am on the road by 8:30. I go to my classes. I do my homework. I’m on the clock 4-8 hours in the evening. I am maintaining relationships, grades, money, sleeping habits (or a lack there of), and my mental health. But it is just school.
I zoom back in to my conversation with my father. He assumes I have not been stabbed by his words. My rebuttal being, “If it was just school everyone could do it. If it were just school you wouldn’t be so worried about me finishing. You have no clue what goes in to school. There is so much to be done. But…yes, father, it is just school.”
