As the new year begins to progress, I have unconsciously positioned myself in a state of deep self-reflection. The mind is a powerful attribute of human life, and I feel as if its importance can be overlooked by some people. Ignorance lurks when one forgoes moments where personal thoughts influence significant decisions to be executed.

As I am more than half-way through my undergraduate experience at my university, I know that focus and dedication are two attributes I must acquire for self-sufficiency. While I am still trying to figure out the definition of "success" in regards to my life, I do know there is a path I want to embark that can only lead me towards happiness. This happiness is exclusively personal, but it can also have the ability to bring the same feeling to others.

During my moments of self-reflection, I tend to be perceived as unapproachable. To be frank, that is completely fine with me. It could be due to my facial expressions of concentration (or sadness), or my aura as a whole, but I base my energy onto the fact that I am the sole engineer of my life. I am the one who will ultimately act upon what my heart and mind preach, for I aim to be true to myself in every step of the way during my growth.

When I am in this state of thought, it feels as if I am in my own home away from reality. I shift away from the responsibilities that are in my hands to complete, as I would sometimes rather choose to think of a euphoric environment. It is a state of mind where my goals and wishes are completely aligned with perfection, and I get to be selfish and think for myself. My eyes could either be opened or closed during this time, but when I am back to reality, I ponder on how to truly make my visions come true.

"What if I'm not strong enough to keep trying?"

'Who am I to think that I can actually make a difference in the lives of my people?"

"Can I even be happy when my trials and tribulations want to bring me down?"

I am just as confused about what I envision, with the belief that the present and future are secret opponents. I always think to myself, "What one does in the present affects their future." Sometimes, I'm stuck in thinking about how unpredictable my future could be when I have responsibilities at my present time to take care of. In actuality, I just bother myself to the point I am bothered that I bothered myself.

Nevertheless, I value the moments I have when I am able to reflect on my personal growth in this world. Questioning myself on if I am "good enough" only mentally sets me back, which can take a turn and physically bring me down to hopelessness. I can only base my reality on the fact that decisions that are made now must be thoughtfully and passionately executed, so the future can end up in my favor. Then again, only time will tell how the evolution of the world and my actions coincide with one another.

I only hope that all my planning for self-happiness is worth it at the end.