I hate a lot of things. I’ll admit it. Some for good reason. Others not so much. I can be petty. And I mean really petty. But all of this hate, all of this concentrated loathing of so many different things is a major part of my personality now. I’m, for lack of a better phrase, a 5-foot-9 pile of hate wearing shoes. Don’t get me wrong. I love certain things. It’s just they’re few and far in between of my hate. My personal, intimate hate.

I was told not to hate things. To try and express myself in more positive ways. But I’m not a positive person. I’m cynical and pessimistic and think about death way too much. When I think of myself, it’s never anything good or constructive. Other than “writer”, maybe. I think of all the bad parts of myself, and all the things I hate.

So, here’s a comprehensive list of things of I hate:

-Top 40 pop music.

-When people talk about Stranger Things. I get it. It’s good. Shut up.

-Poverty.

-Systematic oppression.

-War (in any and all forms, save for fictionalized accounts detailing how bad it is).

-Being told to exercise more.

-Most vegetables.

-Racism.

-Sexism, internalized or otherwise.

-Pretentious discussion about philosophy.

-Pretentious people in general (yes, I know this includes me).

-Small groups in classes.

-Being forced to talk to strangers in any context or situation.

-Toni Morrison’s Beloved. What the hell, right?

-Any book written before 1921.

-The fact that Birth of a Nation (the 1915 one) revolutionized filmmaking.

-Climate change.

-Small talk.

-Oh so many things about myself.

-Creative nonfiction.

-Unrequited love.

-Capitalism.

-How broke I am.

-Michael Cimino for Heaven’s Gate.

-Me (x60).