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Wow I do not like the 4IM

Aug 23, 2016

I think basically all swimmers would agree that we wouldn't wish a 4IM upon our worst enemies, and that we all really just want to be sprinters. Well, here's exactly what I think during basically all the events I swim. The fact that I don't swim breaststroke, 200 IM, or 100 fly was too painful to write about and was thus not included.

400 IM
1st 50 Fly: Okay, cool, things are going great. I can do this. Yeah red. Yeah green. Life is fantastic.
2nd 50 Fly: Hmm, it seems I may be going too fast at this point. Whatever, I'm sure it won't catch up to me anytime soon.
1st 50 Back: Wow, you know, I really hate backstroke. Who thought it would be a good idea to swim, but like on your back? This is stupid. Maybe if I get out no one would notice.
2nd 50 Back: Nope, everyone would notice. They would notice because you are a barge, you are a barge among yachts, and there's no way that you're going to finish this. Life is bad.
1st 50 Breast: WAIT, NEVERMIND, I CAN SWIM AGAIN. I CAN DO THIS. FUCK THE HATERS.
3rd 25 Breast: On second thought...
4th 25 Breast: All systems are failing, I repeat, all systems are failing. Do not swim into the light. Light means actual death, not just the metaphoric death you're currently experiencing.
1st 50 Free: You know what, maybe you should've actually died while you had a chance.
2nd 50 Free: *Delusional mumbling that could not be deciphered*

200 Fly
1st 50:Hey why am I scared of this event? This isn't bad at all!
2nd 50: Wow this is going amazing, I'm on top of the world! There's nothing I can't do! I AM GOD! BOW DOWN TO ME PEASANTS.
3rd 50: I DON'T THINK YOU PEASANTS UNDERSTOOD WHAT I JUST SAID YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BOWING DOWN TO ME, NOT PASSING ME.
4th 50: Am I going to finish? Find out next time on Lost.

100/200 Back
First Half: Nope, don't want to be doing this. I don't even care. Like how bad could this possibly go.
Second half: It could go very poorly apparently. No. You know what? Maybe everyone else is just going really fast.
When I see my time: Hey, not that bad. (If I was nine years old).

500/1000/1650 Free
Entire Event: Hmm, what could they really do if I were to get out right now?

50/100 Free
Entire Event: Ugh, why am I not a sprinter? I hate my life.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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