Just Because You're Single Doesn't Mean You're Broken

Just Because You're Single Doesn't Mean You're Broken

For anyone who's ever been told, "Don't worry... It'll happen for you someday."
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Whether you’re single, married, dating, divorced, or “it’s complicated,” I want you to hear me loud and clear:

Single and broken are not the same thing.

And sometimes we act like they are.

Getting engaged felt a bit like receiving an invitation to the cool kids' table—people know about you, they talk about you, they ask you questions about bridesmaids dresses even though they don’t actually know you, and everything you do is all of a sudden shiny and romantic.


See more of Stephanie's work at stephaniemaywilson.com.


It’s strange, really, and kind of wonderful. Because just like in middle school, you’ve watched a million girls sit at that table, and you’ve always wanted to be one of them.

But as I sat at this new table, I looked around and realized some of my favorite people were missing. My single friends weren’t invited to this table, and I realized the people at my new table were hurting them quite a lot.

Sitting at this exclusive table, we somehow feel like we’ve made it. We want to look back and tell people how to get where we are. We look back at how it happened for us and try to put a three-step process to achieve the same result.

We give ass-backwards advice, or worse, we show pity.


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We ask deeply personal questions, prying into each other’s romantic lives. We’re worse than our mothers, asking if there’s a special someone yet, and demanding to know why not.

One of my girlfriends was patted on the knee by a girl several years younger than her and told, “don’t worry… it’ll happen for you too someday.”

Nobody needs that.

Being engaged doesn’t mean I’m cool, and being single doesn’t mean you’re not.

Life isn’t magically broken as a single person in the same way it won't be magically fixed with a ring.

Yes, life has changed a lot since Carl entered my life, but I’m not a new human because of it. My life didn’t begin once he slipped the ring onto my finger. My life began a long time ago, and so did yours.

Our relationship status is a part of our lives, not the whole thing.

Our relationships make up a huge portion of our lives, and they have the ability to seriously impact the way we feel. But we’re mistaken to put all of our eggs in the relationship basket, to believe that the status of our ring finger dictates our worth or the joy in our lives. But we act like this, sometimes, and usually not on purpose.

We make perfectly happy people insecure about the fact that they’re single, or just dating, or not yet married. And it’s just got to stop.

And so this is what I think we need to do. I think that single, married, engaged and “it’s complicated” people alike need to take a deep breath and talk about something else.

Because there’s so much more to life than a ring.

God is big and wonderful and He has huge things for us to do in his Kingdom. There are people in this world that need food and water and someone to show them they’re not alone. There are friends to make and skills to learn and jobs to rock and places to visit.

We have important business being on this earth — and I think it’s time we talked about it.

So next time you’re with a friend, regardless of their relationship status, don't ask them about it. Ask them about their hopes and their dreams and the things God is teaching them. Ask them about the best moment of their day, the most beautiful thing they saw, and what they want to be when they grow up.

We are made to do massive, stunning things in this world, things that aren’t defined by a piece of metal around any certain finger. So let’s spend some time talking about it, and give each other, whatever our relationship status, a break.


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“If you could go back and give your single self some advice, what would you tell her?”

Awhile back a girlfriend asked me a question I just could not get out of my mind. She asked, “Now that you’re married, if you could go back and give your single self some advice, what would you tell her?” I immediately knew what I’d say, so I sat down and wrote myself four letters full of the advice I would go back and give myself if I had the chance.

I would love nothing more than to share those letters with you! Click here to hear more about them, and if you pop in your information, the first one will be in your inbox before you know it!

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To The Boy Who Made Me Love Again

Thank you for loving me and showing me how to love myself.

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To the boy who made me love again:

From the very beginning of our relationship, you showed me you were different. You showed me how I should be treated.

After dating someone for three years, falling in love was the last thing I wanted to do again. I did not want to grow close to anyone and fall in love with every little aspect of someone, but with you, it was so much different. You were different from other guys I had talked to. You have done small things for me that make me so happy. From offering to order me pizzas while I'm working to ordering me a key chain that says "drive safe," it's the little things you've done to make me love you.

During my previous relationship, I had come to a custom of pulling out my card to pay for dates and thought it was okay to accept the fact that good morning text did not exist. Every morning since we started dating, you never forget to text me good morning. We almost fight over who is going to pay, because I can't expect you to pay for every date. You have shown me what to expect in a relationship.

You never fail to make me happy. Whenever I say I'm hungry, you get me Mexican. When I want to watch Netflix, you immediately put on The Office. I can mention one thing I want and you buy it because you know it will make me happy. You give me forehead kisses and it puts a smile on my face. Whenever I am upset, you won't get off the phone until you figure out what is wrong and make sure everything is okay.

You make me feel beautiful. I can come over in leggings and socks and Birkenstocks or I can come over in a nice shirt and booties, but either way, you tell me I'm beautiful. Whenever I just wake up and look a hot mess, you look me in my eyes and tell me I'm beautiful.

You always tell me to be careful whenever I'm driving and you make sure to tell me you love me every night before you go to bed. You remind me of things I know I'll forget and you literally read my mind. You motivate me with my schooling and tell me how proud you are of me when I make a good grade.

I never wanted to date again and I especially did not want to fall in love; however, you are everything I dreamed of wanting. I am so blessed to have met you and fallen in love with you. So to the boy who made me want to love again, I love you and thank you for everything.

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36 Hobbies To Take Up If You Want To Be The Next Best 20-Something Grandma

Pursuing something with needle and thread is a good start

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Need a new hobby? Want to emulate a grandmother? Here are some great ideas for fun things to do in your spare time to get you ready to be the best grandma in 40-50 years!

1. Knitting

2. Baking

This hobby will also come with many friends wanting to try your creations.

3. Crocheting

4. Sudoku 

You gotta keep the mind healthy.

5. Crosswords

6. Cooking

7. Thrifting

Goodwill is your go-to for fabulous finds that won't break the bank.

8. Join a book club

Whether or not you actually read the book, either way it's a good way to socialize.

9. Yard Sale-ing

Don't tell me you didn't go yard sale-ing with your grandma at least once in your childhood.

10. Napping

11. Brunching

Food and friends (and a mimosa)... what's not to love about this hobby?

12. Spades

13. Hearts

14. Gardening

Figure out if you have a green thumb earlier rather than later.

15. Sewing

Being able to fix (or even make) your own clothes seems like both a creative outlet and a practical skill.

16. Antiquing

17. Cross-Stitching

Make some wall decorations for your room!

18. Power-walking

Why normal walk when you could speed walk?

19. Reading at 64-font on your Kindle

20. Read the newspaper

There's just something peaceful and nostalgic about reading a physical newspaper...

21. Collecting

Coins, dolls, you name it.... someone probably collects it.

22. Quilting

23. Rummy

24. Giving wise advice to those younger than you

25. Get a magazine subscription

26. Write hand-written letters to friends

It's fun and there is something so meaningful about taking the time to write it out and mail it.

27. Bridge

28. Curate a bomb matching pajama collection

29. Scrapbooking

Take your memories and add a creative touch... you won't regret it.

30. Tai Chi

I'm not a regular grandma, I'm a cool grandma...

31. Flower-arranging

32. Photography

Capture the moments of the loved ones around you!

33. Plan girls' trips with friends

34. Volunteer

Find time to give back to causes that you are passionate about!

35. Watch game shows

36. Watch soap operas

All the plot points and characters may be cringy, but they are so addicting!

Consider some of these hobbies if you find yourself looking for something to fill your time. When grandma-hood comes around, you'll be ready for it. And if you already do a lot of these things, well then we might as well go ahead and affectionately call you a 20-something grandma!

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