In BuzzFeed's video "For Anyone Who's Been Told It's 'Just A Phase'" poets Kevin Kantor and Sienna Burnett strongly state, "do not align yourself with someone's access of expectation." Here is the dilemma, a lot of us who are a part of the LGBTQ+ community want to ignore the societal expectations of "normality", yet the truth is they keep hanging over us like a ghost, silent and cold.
When I was a kid, I had more friends who were boys than girls. I always got along with them better because while the girls played house during recess, I insisted on playing soccer with all of the boys. I dressed in boys' shirts, shorts, and even shoes. I had more Pokémon cards, toys and merchandise that I could handle; and my parents bought these things for me because it made me smile. I remember getting called a boy at the skate park by a group of older boy skaters, but it never concerned me, that was until I got a little older.
When I got to seventh grade I finally started to notice that a lot of the girls were dressed differently than me. I looked down at my blue Converse, long plaid shorts and t-shirt and saw that the girl who sat across from me in class was wearing a cute floral top with a skirt, and I couldn't help but get butterflies in my stomach. She is so pretty; I wish I could be as pretty as her, I thought. I tried to shake the feeling of butterflies out of my stomach because I have only felt that way about boys before and girls weren't supposed to feel that way about girls. For the next few days I caught myself continuously glancing in her direction and when she caught my eye I looked away quickly from embarrassment. This was the start of me hiding my feelings for pretty girls. These feelings continued for several girls over the next eight years and only grew stronger.
I couldn't take the emotional self- torture anymore, my 20-year-old self had to come out. Since I have come out in April of this year I have been told by several people, "oh you're just going through a phase; it will probably go away after college" or "let me please tell you what The Bible says about homosexuality and pray over you." These statements aggravated me and I have never felt so misunderstood in my life. I knew in my heart that no one could "pray the gay away" or that these feelings that resided in my heart and soul would not leave anytime soon.
These people had no idea how my heart skipped beats when I looked into the girl of my dreams eyes for the first time. How little they knew about our cheesy dates to the movies and driving off into sunsets blasting our favorite song. They had no clue how priceless she is to me.
So regardless of when and if someone tells you "it's just a phase", the video also explains that "it's not just and phase and you are not just anything." You are so much more than what people see on the outside. You have a heart, a soul and a mind. Use these tools to understand that your feelings are valid and that the only thing that should be "just a phase" is their ignorance towards the meaning of love.
