Nothing could have prepared me for my first day as a teaching intern. I had spent two years preparing for this part of my education to become a teacher. When I was called "Ms. McCracken" by a student for the first time, I immediately looked around for my mother and then thought, "Oh, she is talking to me." This was all too overwhelming, and I did not even feel old enough to be called "Ms. McCracken."
I genuinely thought I was ready to take on a full day of observing middle school students. This is the most interesting part of it all--I was only allowed to observe. My job was to literally sit at a desk, occasionally help the teacher when asked and smile at the students. This only seemed to confuse them. One girl thought her teacher was leaving and almost left the classroom crying. Another student asked if I was married, and when I replied with, "No, I'm going to school." He just looked at me like this scenario was utterly impossible in this day and age, and replied, "But, how do you have money to spend?"
How was I supposed to answer him without saying, "I have money because I'm a strong, independent woman who does not need to be married right now." Instead, I just smiled, and hoped the situation would become awkward enough that he would leave my desk. The only problem was, middle schoolers are the definition of awkward. As I scanned the room, I could see a sea of braces, bad hair, and even worse than that-- my senses were overwhelmed with the aroma of what I only hoped could be fixed with deodorant.
This is why I was not surprised at my reaction when the bell finally rang at 3:15 p.m., and all I wanted to do was put on my yoga pants and drink all the alcohol I could find while binge watching "Grey's Anatomy." I had never been so exhausted from doing absolutely nothing all day long. How was I going to feel after a full day of actually teaching a classroom full of students? All I wanted to do was go home, put on my yoga pants and consume all of the alcohol. That's saying a lot for someone who doesn't drink.
Despite the difficulties of my first day, it has been an incredible experience to actually be present in a classroom full of young, impressionable preteens. In the two short weeks of my observation in this classroom, my mentor has been named Teacher of the Year. I've seen her cry over her students' struggles and find joy in their accomplishments. I have witnessed students' moods be lifted just from a simple compliment or piece of encouragement. I have noticed the change within the students as they get to know me and learn that I am here to help them. I am encouraged by their simple outlook on life and their bright spirit. They have changed my assumptions of them from the first day.
Just a few weeks ago, I had hoped to make an impact on their lives, but in reality, they are the ones to change my perspective on teaching forever.
