“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
One day I picked up the Bible that was collecting dust on my shelf here at school and opened to this verse. In the past year and half, almost two years, I have drifted away from faith and didn’t know if I would ever find that relationship with God that I used to have. As I read this verse over and over I let the words take over my mind, until I realized that this was going to be the start of something wonderful, I just had to commit and believe.
I relate a lot of who I am today back to the passing of my Grandpa. I never understood how to cope with his passing and I let myself drift into a dark world. I had a wonderful support system who all understood my faith was broken, they never pushed me to “get over it.” They led me back to the path of living a world full of love and happiness. But it was up to me to take the path, it was up to me to accept that my faith was broken and that I wanted to regain what I lost with my relationship with God.
What I stopped doing:
I took baby steps, I stopped blaming God for everything going wrong in my life and for everything that had gone wrong in my life. I stopped asking for answers, I stopped going to prayer just to ask for Him to do me a favor. I stopped trying to make bargains with Him in hopes that answers would be given to me. I stopped living with this negative outlook on the things around me.
What I started doing:
What I did do though, was asked for His forgiveness and I started to thank Him every day. Thanking him for the good in my life. For my family and the friends I have met and the friends that have come and gone in my life. I started to thank Him for the little things I always over looked. I made it my mission to stop thinking of all the negative and start enjoying the all the good. The day I started to do these things, I started to feel myself growing a relationship with God that I haven’t felt in years.
I know that God has a plan for me and the day I stopped asking Him to give me a hint to what it was, was the day I started to live a happier life. Though I know He does have a plan for me, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have to try and that everything will “just work its way out.” I still push myself to try and go after things that I want in life, I don’t blame God for all the bad things that happen, but I praise Him for all the great things that happen.
One of the biggest steps in regaining my relationship with God was believing that my Grandpa was in a better place. When I finally accepted this, I could finally allow God back into my life.
It wasn’t till my faith was shaken down to the basic foundation, to barely nothing that I realized there was so much I didn’t understand. It hasn’t been an easy road back to my faith and to this day I am still on the journey back. People cope with life’s challenges in all different ways, I chose faith and others may not agree. Before you decide to judge how others cope, please take a step back and remember that each person is an individual and are going to have different beliefs.
However, know that no matter what you go through in life, there are people who are willing to stand by your side, who will lead you on the right path, and all you need to do is accept their helping hand. Enjoy life, enjoy the beautiful things around you. Take chances and love.
