A wise man once told me, "In the beginning, there was God"

I've always believed in God and was raised to say grace and pray when things got hard, but I never really found my faith until this year.

I wouldn't say I hit rock bottom, but I felt it scraping away at my feet.

My life had two very prominent parts to it that I had proudly identified myself with and one was ripped from me in the blink of an eye and the other still feels as though it's slowly slipping from my grasp.

Everyone saw my relationship as something to look up to and something that no one understood how it happened or how it was working after years and years, and well, it worked until God decided that wasn't the path I needed to follow. I was ready to pick up and move my life away from everything I loved or took pride in without any real hesitation until one day in an airport. Then my life was changed.

At the time and the following weeks I felt as though God had hated me and wondered why this would ever happen to me and if I had done something to deserve it. But give me a few months and time to reflect on what I had lost and realize just how much more I am gaining. I had forgotten who I was. I had created my identity based off of another person and what they gave me. God did not create us to be someone other than ourselves. Each and every one of us was made to do certain things in life and God gave me heartbreak to remember that I am a person of love not just for one person but for many.

I believe that God does challenge his strongest children and that he has a path for every person who is willing to let him guide them. I've realized that his challenges to me in particular is to test my character and who I am and I wouldn't be as strong or as much of a role model to others if he didn't throw hardship in my everyday life and for that I am thankful.

We need patience with faith and I am still finding mine.

It's easiest to give up on the plan when you have no idea where it's going. But find faith in God and wow. Your life will feel so much better. Surround yourself with people who remind you of the blessings you are handed and who will help guide you in faith and worship.

I will never look back and think "Why God would you ever do this to ME?" because he wouldn't test me if he knew I couldn't handle it. So instead I pray and say thank you lord for pushing me to be a better person.