Assuming you've talked to more than three people under the age of 30 in these past few weeks, you've probably heard at least something about the Jordyn Woods/Khloe Kardashian/Tristan Thompson scandal. If you haven't, to make a long story short, Jordyn Woods (Kylie Jenner's bestie) was caught hooking up with Tristan Thompson (Khloe Kardashian's baby-daddy).

The uncovered cheating resulted in a whole lot of drama for the Kardashian-Jenner clan, forcing them to choose between family and friends, and putting Khloe in a position of publicly having to decide how to handle Tristan's infidelity.

So now you're about as caught up as I am, and also as caught up as I ever hope to be.

I'm going to say something that many of my friends seem to find appalling, shocking, and even controversial: I do not give a single damn what else happens in this drama. I did not care when it first came out, and I will not care when it is resolved.

I am not interested in celebrity news. I am not interested in who got work done, or who is sleeping with who, or what pair of friends are feuding again. I do NOT want to keep up with the Kardashians.

It's not that I don't like gossip, because trust me, it's one of my worst habits. I could talk about my high school classmates or the local moms for hours (I could, but I really try not to!)

When it comes to celebrity drama, however, I'm honestly just bored. Why should I be invested in people who have zero relevance in my life? I don't have the time or mental energy to keep tabs on people who I do not and most likely never will know.

My friends are utterly confused by this. I am utterly confused by their almost manic fascination with strangers.

It is exhausting enough to manage my own personal drama. I just don't really have an interest in being bothered to care about someone else's.

I wish I could say I had a better reason, like not wanting to exploit someone else's personal life for my own entertainment, but the plain truth is that I am too lazy to care.

I do not want to talk about the latest update in JordynGate. I do not have an opinion. I will not pick a side. I do not want to hear your analysis of the situation.

Please, do not ask. I really, truly, just don't care.