Jordan Kimball was hands down the most controversial contestant on Becca's season of The Bachelorette. If you can get past his blatant confidence and golden underwear, then there is a lot to appreciate when it comes to the things this guy says. As Becca expressed, Jordan is truly one of the most interesting and unique people you will ever come across. He is a brand of his own. Here are 10 Jordan quotes that are just too hilarious not to recognize.
1. "I'm really losing out on potentially sharing myself with someone else."
THE Jordan Kimball has this selfless revelation in his introduction video. He talks about the hardships that come with modeling, and then humbly admits he has been so self-absorbed that someone else has missed out on knowing him. What an enlightenment.
2. *exits limo* "How are you?"
Okay so it isn't really a funny quote, but it is what's happening in his head and with his facial expressions that makes this so hilarious.
Jordan: *Step out of limo... emphasize on your shoes. Strike 'Pensive Gentleman' as you look into the distance. Strike 'Blue Steel' as you button your jacket. Look at Becca. Smile.* "How are you?"
There's a 99.9 percent chance that is exactly what went through Jordan's head as he stepped out of the limo. I mean he spent 6 hours hand selecting everything, remember?
3. "I'm a fashion model. Let's go ahead and establish that, okay?"
OH. You model Jordan? I didn't put that one together. Thank you for clarifying.
4. "I'm just loyal and I'm dependable. I'm a golden retriever."
This was Jordan's response to Becca asking him how he is in a relationship. It all goes full circle, too, when he is leaving after Becca sends him home. "I can speak, I can walk, I'm fit... I just wish I could know what went wrong." The exact thoughts every golden retriever has when their owner puts them in the kennel.
5. "The power is in the brows."
The man isn't wrong. A person's brows can make or break them. My high school senior pictures are absolutely horrific, why? Because my brows were unwaxed and unfilled. I wish I had his wise advice then.
6. "You could literally put me in a cardboard box and I will have the best time."
You gotta admire a person who can make the best of any situation. If Jordan's modeling career fails and he is forced to live on the streets, Jordan will do it with beauty and he will do it with grace.
7. "Anyone that's talking about me, thank you."
It doesn't matter what you have to say. I am just honored to be the forefront of your conversation. That's how it should always be.
8. "I don't want you to misinterpret me as some guy who is 007 all of the time cause I'm not. There's a lot to me."
Call me Kimball. Jordan Kimball: The Man With The Golden Underwear.
9. "Attached to me is professionality. It's in my face. It's in everything I do."
It's attached to me when I spritz sea salt spray into my hair. It's attached to me when I'm getting a pedicure. It's attached to me at all times.
10. "Tick tock. Let's make it rock."
I'm just saying... I can't wait to watch Jordan tick-tock make it rock in paradise with his one-of-a-kind quotes and hopefully he packs his golden underwear.